New Zealand Listener Issue 19, 2025

Sir Robert Jones had only one modest desire: to entertain every man, woman and child in New Zealand with his writings. Jones, who died on May 2 aged 85, probably achieved this to some extent, at least if longevity counts. He was among the most prolific New Zealand commentators of all time, punching out opinion pieces in one shape or another for more than 60 years before hanging up his gloves for good. Punching is the word. Although the one-time student pugilist took pride in his half-dozen works of fiction, most of them rather heavy-handed satires on left-wing fashions, his métier was the newspaper column, where he moved fast and went for knockout blows. Herewith, culled from his better newspaper commentaries and elsewhere, a flurry of his greatest hits: On…

I’m certain that I am far from alone in feeling outrage at the cancellation of Massey University’s contract to train teachers in the wonderfully successful Bobbie maths system, as described in your article about Bobbie and Jodie Hunter (“A zero-sum game,” May 10). The success of this programme with Māori and Pacific children is undeniable, with students in the hundreds of schools that have implemented it showing unprecedented improvement. Cancellation of support has nothing to do with the cost, which is minuscule set beside the benefits to our country as a whole. What we desperately need is to find a way to help children succeed in maths. Well, here it is. What can people like me, together with many thousands of others, Listener readers, educators, all of us seething with…

For Competition No 92, we asked for a haiku about the legacy of Pope Francis. FINALISTS: I have gone but don’t cry for me, Argentina. Our church welcomes all. ‒ Hans Zindel, Palmerston North RIP Francis, wishing good luck to Ralph Fiennes picking the new Pope. ‒ Jason Morgan, Wellington Build bridges not walls Was his message to the world, Rest in peace, Francis ‒ CA O’Connell, Putāruru Francis was the best Of those popes in my lifetime. A low bar to clear. ‒ Charlie Truell, Auckland Pope for the ages, His smile for humanity Went beyond his church.  ‒ Paul Kelly, Palmerston North WINNER: A kindly man whose Polemic might not prevail Beyond the white smoke.  ‒ Chris Greenwood, Motueka For the next Bright Lines competition, we have the…

“The Catholics loved it … Someone did it in fun – it’s fun. You have to have a little fun, don’t you?” “These changes are not about evidence – they are about saving money by keeping women underpaid.” “We shouldn’t always be asking someone else to give us their second-hand stuff, which is what has happened in the past ... We’re actually going to turn up and act like a real country.” “I wouldn’t want to be part of that post-mortem.” “When I’m not at home, there is a part of me that is just aching, and my feet don’t feel like they’re on ground until they’re on home ground.” “He … produced something remarkable, but that means that there’s no reason why anyone else needs to go try.” “[Bob…

1. Which Australian animal produces cube-shaped faeces? ❑ Kangaroo ❑ Wombat ❑ Dingo ❑ Emu 2. Taranaki’s mountain, named by James Cook after the Earl of Egmont, recently reverted completely to its original Māori name. Is the title of Earl of Egmont still extant? ❑ Yes ❑ No 3. Physicist Aaron Leanhardt has instigated what change in US baseball that has resulted in more home runs? ❑ Ball diameter ❑ Bat shape ❑ Diamond length ❑ Pitcher technique 4. The film La Vie en Rose was a biopic of who? ❑ Coco Chanel ❑ Joan of Arc ❑ Colette ❑ Édith Piaf 5. In which year did the 13-day Cuban Missile Crisis occur? ❑ 1958 ❑ 1960 ❑ 1962 ❑ 1968 6. Where would you find a catkin? ❑ Kitchen…

You see it on TV and in movies all the time: a hero – Eleven from Stranger Things, Rey from Star Wars, Harry Potter from, y’know, Harry Potter – overcomes evil using sheer determination. Often, they’ll hold out their hand, half-clenched, contort their face, find hidden reserves of strength within themselves and bend reality to their will. Politicians like to indulge in this fantasy, assuring us they – unlike their weak and dithering predecessors – have the bravery and drive to make good on their commitments. In her upcoming Budget, Finance Minister Nicola Willis will promise better public services, a return to government surpluses by 2029 and (fingers crossed) economic growth. But the government’s greatest liabilities are superannuation, health, education and law and order. The first is untouchable so long…