Innholdsfortegnelse for 21-Jan-16 i You South Africa

JANUARY is one of those months fraught with tension – money issues, back to work blues and relationship woes. It’s when reality sets in, spirits are low and everyone seems to have had enough of one another. Unsurprisingly, relationships often take strain at this time of year and affairs are often the cause of marriages breaking down. Little wonder – few people can recover from such betrayal. But therapist Andrew G Marshall believes you can get back on track if your partner has had an affair. As he puts it, “Trust me, over my 30 years working with couples in crisis, I’ve seen it all and know exactly how bad a marriage can get – and still my main message is that it can get better. “That’s because I firmly…

This is the largest claim for alleged systematic and ongoing child abuse his team has ever been involved in, forensic investigator Paul O’Sullivan says. His firm has been involved in forensic investigations into criminals such as Czech mafia boss Radovan Krejcir and the late disgraced police chief, Jackie Selebi. “Around the world, abuse of children is regrettably on the increase,” he says. “Mothers get trapped in abusive relationships and all too often the abuser is wealthy and uses financial blackmail to keep the relationship going, quite often portraying to the outside world that they’re a ‘normal’ family.” In his experience, the accused will initially put up a fight. But this means more grisly details will emerge, resulting in the matter being settled. “The settlement will be the final act of…

‘The court ruled that the bonds on their property must be cancelled’ HE WAS in his sixties and retired when he managed to secure a loan that would help get his smallholding out of trouble. Despite the fact he had no regular income and his wife had none he was given half a million rand after he’d depleted their pension funds to keep the smallholding going. But Herman de Beer and his wife, Jacoba, couldn’t afford to keep repaying their huge debt. The bank moved swiftly to get a court date to recover more than R1,7 million from Herman and Jacoba, says Daan Schoeman, the couple’s lawyer. “But I asked for a postponement because the couple first had to have psychiatric treatment. “They had nowhere else to live and if…

TOMATO TARTLETS SERVES 4 Preparation: 15 min Cooking: 15-20 min SPREAD 80 ml (¹/3 c) pumpkin seeds, toasted 60 ml (¼ c) sun-dried tomatoes 80 ml (¹/3 c) olive oil 30 ml (2 T) lemon juice salt and freshly ground pepper TARTLETS 500 g puff pastry 1 egg, whisked 250 g baby tomatoes, chopped 1 round feta cheese, roughly crumbled 10 g fresh basil Preheat the oven to 180 °C. Line a baking sheet with baking paper and grease with nonstick spray. 1 Spread Blitz the ingredients in a food processor, seasoning to taste with salt and freshly ground pepper. 2 Tartlets Roll out the pastry on a floured surface. Cut into 4-6 squares. Lightly brush the edges with the egg. Use the leftover pastry to make a rim. Arrange…

SMART WAYS TO SAVE! • Make a list of what you need before shopping for more cosmetics. • Buy only what you need. Don’t grab an item just because it’s the newest thing or because it looks pretty. • Check expiry dates before buying make-up that you’ll have for a while. It’s pointless investing in a big bottle of foundation only to have it expire in a few weeks. • There’s no need for salon-exclusive products if you don’t have problematic skin. More affordable brands work just as well. • Take advantage of buy-one-get-one-free sales. • If your make-up container breaks, rather than throw it away use another container to store it in. • Try buying products that can be used by everyone in the family, such as bath soap,…

There are various definitions of dyslexia, but the symptoms of this learning disorder primarily involve difficulty in learning to read and spell. “The traditional definition refers to a child who has an average or above-average IQ, but with a big discrepancy between his potential and what he can do in terms of reading and spelling” says Susan du Plessis, director of educational programmes at Edublox, countrywide clinics helping people with learning and reading problems. Dyslexia can range from mild to severe, says Anita Worrall, director and founder of Pro Ed House School in Cape Town. “Dyslexia, strictly speaking, is a neurobiological problem which is inherited. More and more you find with MRI scans that true dyslexics have specific brain architecture. With some the right side of the brain tends to…

‘Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit’– ENGLISH PHILOSOPHER BERNARD WILLIAMS SHOULD I MARRY HIM FOR MY PARENTS’ SAKE? Q I recently broke up with my fiancé. We were going to get married in April but I realised that even though I love him it’s not the kind of love that will sustain the kind of partnership a marriage requires. I love him more like a good friend than as someone I want to share my life with. My parents are shocked and devastated because they really like him and he has a very good job and excellent future prospects. I think they were actually relieved that they could look forward to me being cared for by someone else. They had me when they were in…

REASONS TO GO TO SCHOOL Early one morning a woman goes into her son’s room. “Time to wake up, my boy,” she says. “I don’t want to go to school, mom” he says sleepily. “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go” “Well, the kids hate me and the teachers hate me” “Oh, those aren’t reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.” “Give me two reasons why I should go to school” “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the principal!” IT’S A NUCLEAR THING Two atoms are walking down the street when one turns to the other and says, “Hey, you just stole an electron from me!” “Are you sure?” the second atom says. “Yeah, I’m positive!” R…

AQUARIUS 21 JANUARY – 18 FEBRUARY Give priority to your personal needs and wants It’s a week to pay attention to your personal needs and wants. Some soul-searching may be required to cover all the aspects of your life that sustain you. You may therefore have to take a break from family, friends and the numerous causes you serve to recharge your batteries, whether on a physical, mental or emotional level. After all, charity begins at home. And in any case, if you run on empty you’ll be of little use to others. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 10, 47, 39, 28, 8, 17 PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20 Your attitude and choices will determine whether you stay afloat this week. An escapist attitude could sabotage your goals and chances of…

• When KATIE HOLMES (37) stepped out recently with a diamond sparkler on her finger, reports flew that her rumoured boyfriend, Jamie Foxx (48), had popped the question. But sadly for those desperate to see the actress move on formally from her ex, Tom Cruise, it wasn’t to be. A close source says Katie “has had the ring for over a year”. She and Jamie have never confirmed a relationship despite reportedly dating for more than two years. • CHERYL FERNANDEZ-VERSINI (32) is divorcing hubby No 2, Jean-Bernard (33), after just 18 months of marriage. Rumours of problems between the X-Factor judge and the French restaurateur have been rife lately, with reasons ranging from Cheryl not being able to speak French to Jean-Bernard being jealous of her spending time with…

WAITER GO, GIRL! I’M A student with a part-time job as a waiter. It’s not very glamorous but when you’re trying to pay off student loans and make sure there’s something other than instant noodles in the house, any job will do. More often than not you tend to see the ugly side of people when you’re a waiter. Complaints, reproaches and irritable customers are all in a day’s work. But every now and then someone comes along who restores your faith in humanity. A week ago I was serving a student. When the bill came she started scrambling in her purse, searching for her money. She was able to pay but couldn’t give me a proper tip. “I promise I’ll come back this week and tip you,” she said.…

MOM’S SCHOOL DAYS Kate of course had no fanfare when she attended nursery school as a Middleton. She wasn’t even living in England – her nursery school experience was in Amman, Jordan, where she and her family lived for more than two years because of her father’s work for British Airways. DAD AND UNCLE HARRY William and Harry both attended a prestigious Montessori nursery school in London. “He liked it,” the head teacher reportedly said of William’s first day at the school, where he made a finger puppet.…

‘It takes longer to recover from a lengthy betrayal’ YOU thought you had a happy marriage. And then out of the blue you discover that for months your partner has been having an affair behind your back. In between your family holidays and dinners with mutual friends, he has been seeing another woman – having sex with her in hotels and leading a sordid double life. You feel so angry and hurt, you can hardly think straight. How is your union going to survive this? An extra-marital affair is the most hurtful of all betrayals – a devastating blow that seems to invalidate all the good memories of a relationship. From long-lasting liaisons to brief flings, every type of infidelity has the capacity to deeply wound. Trust me, over my…

THE YOU 3D app has changed to the bigger and better Media24 3D app. Why? The new app does exactly what the YOU 3D app did, but it’s faster, displays a higher quality animation and can be used in all other Media24 magazines. This means you only have to download one app to use it across several magazines. You will also need this app to use the Scan to Buy function (see instruction on the right). The app is free to download and is suitable for iOS or Android – all you need is a smartphone or tablet. WHY IS THIS APP BETTER? • Better, more detailed animation• Faster functionality• Can be used across all Media24 magazines GET IT TODAY Go to the iTunes App or Google Play store and download the “Media24…

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Expert intervention is a must, but parents can help in a number of ways: • Be patient, says Susan du Plessis of Edublox. “I’ve often heard people say, ’My child is lazy.’ But you can’t judge your child if he has a reading problem” • Make sure you get the right help, she adds. Ask the therapist what methods they’d use? What’s the theory behind them? What indicates success? “You should see visible results and an improvement in schoolwork. If not, the method may not be working for your child” • Develop a relationship with your child’s teacher, advises Cape Town educational psychologist Melissa Bothma. It opens up lines of communication to know how your child is faring academically. • Make sure the child’s study area is conducive to learning.…

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got – AMERICAN ACTOR WILL ROGERS USE EXTRA INCOME WISELY Make good use of your salary raise. You could for instance increase your monthly bond repayment by the same percentage as your salary increase. This way you can pay your bond off sooner and save on interest. Decide where to put the extra money – and stick to your decision! Otherwise this money will be frittered away instead of contributing to your financial health. Remember, every bit helps if used smartly. TAKE A CALCULATED RISK! Many people are too conservative when investing their money so the returns aren’t as good…

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. 2015. 112 min. 13V. Action thriller. R119* With Bond, Bourne and Mission: Impossible all vying for attention in the overcrowded spy genre, is there room for another addition? What’s more, other film adaptations of beloved vintage TV series are a decidedly mixed bunch (Charlie’s Angels, 21 Jump Street). But though it never reaches the heights of the best spy movies, what The Man From U.N.C.L.E. does have going for it is lots of style, glamour and humour. In a clever move to be different, the movie is set in the ’60s while the Cold War is still raging. Suave CIA agent Napoleon Solo (Man Of Steel’s Henry Cavill) is tasked with extracting German motor mechanic Gaby Teller (Alicia Vikander) from East Berlin so she can help…

LISTEN TO THIS! SINGLES MAROON 5 They’ve been around longer than 10 years and know how to turn out catchy pop singles – so don’t expect anything new from their first hits collection. The band take us back to their debut album, Songs About Jane, with the opening track, This Love. From there they work their way through their career with hits such as Payphone and Moves Like Jagger (featuring Christina Aguilera), although it’s a pity great tracks such as Won’t Go Home Without You and Sunday Morning were overlooked. This album is for newbies, but if you’re into hits collections this one hits the spot.…

THE TAMING OF THE QUEEN By Philippa Gregory, Simon & Schuster, R409* Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. In her latest offering the queen of historical fiction imagines the life of King Henry VIII’s sixth wife, Kateryn Parr. Called to court after the death of her second husband, Kateryn quickly finds herself among the king’s favourites, but she’s completely infatuated with his handsome courtier, Thomas Seymore – until Henry makes her an offer she can’t refuse. As his new wife, scholarly, devout Kateryn is at the mercy of the ailing king’s mercurial moods, and even more so when she becomes swept up in the cause of religious reform. She’s safe in the knowledge that’s what the king wants too – until he doesn’t. Suddenly she finds Henry’s wrath directed at…

Lauren is also a successful singer but reveals she was bullied as a child. ‘I was called a nerd, a dork, a loser; I was told that no one liked me . . . It was a very bad time for me, but I found solace in music and acting.’ Landry (15) plays laid-back Cyd while Lauren (17) is super-organised Shelby. “She will inspire girls to believe in themselves and be kind to others,” Lauren says. Cyd is “a fun character”. “Sarcastic, a tomboy but loveable,” Landry says. You’ll recognise Landry from the TV series Crash & Bernstein, while Lauren is a regular on the music scene and has appeared in the series Liv And Maddie. Landry’s role model is Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your…

SNAKEBITE Only 12 of the 140 snake species in South Africa are poisonous, but always approach these creatures with extreme caution. Three-quarters of snakebites occur in the legs. If someone has been bitten, keep them calm and call the emergency services. Make sure you describe the snake to medical personnel in as much detail as possible. The multipurpose anti-venom is effective only against mamba, cobra, adder and rinkhals bites. A good description will therefore help ensure the victim gets effective treatment. Don’t suck on or cut into the site of the bite. A tourniquet is also useless because the poison spreads through the lymphatic system. Keep the victim extremely still and calm to limit the spread of the poison. CUTS AND SCRATCHES You can treat minor cuts and scratches yourself,…

HE’S regarded as one of the greatest footballers in the history of the game, renowned for his ball control and artistic style of play. Some say he could do things with a football not known to other players, much less mere mortals. But former French footballer Zinedine Zidane’s new job as boss of Real Madrid means it’s no longer his ball skills that are in the spotlight. He now has to prove himself as a manager at arguably the highest level possible – and at a critical time for the Spanish glamour club. Real Madrid is one of the most powerful and profitable clubs in the world and could be considered the least forgiving in football when it comes to managers. They don’t stay in the hot seat for long…

I’ve just read with utter disgust the article about FW de Klerk’s son Willem and his estranged wife, Nicole Noordien (YOU, 7 January). She claims she’s battling but she has manicured nails, her daughter is wearing name-brand shoes and she receives R8 000 a month. She could even afford a trip to Cape Town. Lady, you have no idea what battling is! I get R1 000 a month for both my boys. Try living off that – then you’ll know what battling is. Suck it up, go get a job and stop being so greedy! If you can afford to have manicured nails then clearly you don’t have a clue what battling financially is. You have insulted all single moms who really do battle. TRACEY HOFFMAN, BOKSBURG • One sentence…

‘Once I vomited I had to clean it up with a toothpick and toothbrush’ MANY brides want nothing more than have their fathers walk them down the aisle on their big day. But not this one. She wanted him as far away from her as possible when she got married last year. The horrific abuse Sue* suffered at the hands of her father has resulted in her suing the wealthy Sandton businessman. And she’s not alone – her 20-year-old half-sister is with her all the way. Sue (25), who doesn’t want to reveal her identity to protect her privacy, and Nellie* are seeking R20 million in damages for the trauma their father caused by allegedly assaulting, neglecting and humiliating them for years on end. The man, who’s not her biological…

FOR couch potatoes and binge-watching fanatics the year couldn’t have got off to a better start. Now that Netflix is available in South Africa it means hours of viewing pleasure and access to thousands of hot shows. After months of speculation the entertainment streaming giant expanded into several countries, including SA, in the first week of the new year. It’s now available in 130 countries and has become a global viewing phenomenon. Netflix gave new meaning to the term “binge-watching” thanks to its policy of releasing full seasons of hit shows – instead of TV’s episode-a-week format. It’s revolutionised the way Americans consume their favourite shows and films – and SA fans believe it will do the same here. But Netflix, which launched in 1999, has strong competition in ShowMax,…

JACKETS TIPS 1 A well-placed button draws the eye to the narrowest part of your waist. 2 Create curves by wearing a jacket with stripes. PANTS TIPS 1 Pants with a flat front panel make your stomach appear flatter. 2 Invest in top-quality custom-made pants. DRESSES TIPS 1 Buy a classic tailored dress that flatters your figure. 2 Catch the eye of those around you in a patterned dress. ACCESSORIES TIPS 1 A large, structured handbag is just the thing for the office in the new year. 2 It’s okay to wear flat-heeled shoes to work – especially if you’re on your feet all day. EXTRA SOURCE: TRINNY & SUSANNAH – THE SURVIVAL GUIDE GO TO THE YOU SHOP AT SPREE.CO.ZA/YOU OR GO TO YOU.CO.ZA AND CLICK ON SPREE FOR…

“My teachers didn’t have patience with me. No one even asked if there was a problem. They all just accepted I was stupid. They told my mom I wouldn’t be able to go to university.” Today Kerstin Olivier isn’t only a teacher at George-Suid Primary School, the Western Cape education department has named her the province’s top science teacher. “My Afrikaans teacher shouted at me more than once that I was stupid. There were teachers who were sympathetic but no one understood I was dyslexic. “My first year at university was difficult. My mom couldn’t record everything on tape any more and there was so much work. In my second year it felt as if a different world opened up to me. “I obeyed my own rhythms and started telling…

“My ankles were so swollen, I couldn’t put my shoes on! And to make matters worse, when I tried, I became so breathless and dizzy, I had to sit up and rest. Do you know how scary that is?” Tom is 64 years old. He looks pale as he describes his ordeal. “I had noticed something changing over the past few weeks. I had trouble sleeping and sometimes I woke up at night feeling breathless and disorientated. But I didn’t give it too much thought until my feet let me down!” Heart failure can creep up on you. It may start gradually and insidiously. You may begin to feel unusually tired, or have trouble performing physical activities that you take for granted. Climbing stairs, for example. As your body starts…

This first-aid technique can get the heart and lungs working again. • Press down hard (about 5cm downwards) on the sternum (middle of the chest) at least 100 times a minute. • After every 30 presses, apply mouth-to-mouth breathing so the victim’s chest rises. Repeat the process until the emergency services arrive. Make sure you have a well-equipped first-aid kit and fire extinguisher at home. Save these emergency numbers on your phone: Ambulance 10177 or 112 Emergency 10111…

‘Students can learn something serious about a fun topic’ THEY say you should study what you love. Why do a boring business science degree when you could be studying something far more interesting – like a course that examines the intricacies of TV series Game Of Thrones? If that doesn’t float your boat, there’s also one that focuses entirely on the Harry Potter series and another that scrutinises pop sensation Lady Gaga’s career. Believe it or not, such courses really are on offer at some of the world’s leading universities. Manchester Metropolitan University in the UK recently made headlines when it introduced a degree in pizza-making. Run in conjunction with fast-food giant Pizza Hut, it teaches an array of skills – from food preparation to financial management. But if that…