Innholdsfortegnelse for 16 April 2015 i You South Africa

YOU KNOW those days when you feel stressed for no real reason? Your shoulders are tight, you feel tired and snappy but you can’t pinpoint why. Well, our feature on page 42 reveals details on surprising sources of stress. And the two that really resonate with me are holidays and mirrors. I was chatting to my mom the other day and saying that often when I get to the airport I wonder if it was all worth it. The packing, the instructions for the housesitters or kennels for the dogs, the mad dash to the airport. It’s exhausting. I have a colleague who took an extra day’s leave just to pack for her Easter holiday. Of course, she has to factor in two young kids but a day of making…

Here’s a picture of my adorable 11-month-old daughter enjoying my YOU before I can get to it. I’m going to have to buy two mags from now on! R ROSALES, EMAIL My daughter’s heart will be broken if Zayn Malik doesn’t rejoin One Direction. RUSHDA, YOU FACEBOOK Madge Wallace, as an animal-lover I’m informed enough to know no one should own a pet monkey, let alone look after one as if it were a human baby (YOU Say, 2 April). It’s cruel and inhumane. SANDY VENTER, SMS If I have to read or hear one more piece of bad news I shall have the vapours. Why can’t we take that horrid little word “harm” and make it a glorious “harmony”? MARIE DIXON, PIETERMARITZBURG I have four boys and it dawned…

OVERWEIGHT, insecure, ugly duckling. Not words you’d associate with the woman who’s graced magazine covers in barely-there bikinis and clinched numerous Sexiest Woman titles, including at the YOU Spectacular, over the years. Yet as startling as it sounds this is exactly how Lee-Ann Liebenberg describes the girl she once was. The model mom of two caused a stir on social media recently when she posted a pic of herself as an overweight teen. Comments ranged from surprise and support to disbelief and ridicule. When people say the pictures of her in swimwear are digitally manipulated it takes her back to her teenage days when she was bullied because of her weight. “I still feel like that overweight girl when people comment about how I’ve been Photoshopped,” Lee-Ann says when we…

SHE’S the kind of woman you’d trust with your kids – a married mom of four children all under the age of 16, a churchgoer, businesswoman and qualified nurse. She lives in an upmarket suburb on Gauteng’s East Rand with her husband and kids and was a shoulder to cry on when Melissa McQuoid* was in a financial tight spot after losing her job. Yet Melissa (40) deeply regrets the day she let Mary Scott* into her life. Melissa was devastated to discover 43-year-old Mary had performed sexual acts on her 14-year-old son last year and was relieved when she was recently found guilty of statutory rape. Mary pleaded guilty to “unlawfully and intentionally committing an act of sexual penetration” with a minor. She was sentenced in the Benoni magistrate’s…

t – teaspoon/s T – tablespoon/s c – cup/s THE traditional Sunday roast leg of lamb has become prohibitively expensive. A pork roast is a good alternative because you don’t have to shell out a fortune, nor do you have to worry about the meat being tough – all pork cuts are beautifully tender and ideal for roasting whole. PORK RACK WITH HERB AND SALT CRUST SERVES 4 Preparation: 15 min Cooking: 1 hour 15 min 2 spare rib racks, each with 6 ribs, meat trimmed off the ends of the bones oIive oil 4 garlic cloves, chopped 500 ml (2 c) fresh herbs such as parsley, coriander and mint, finely chopped 1 packet (500 g) coarse salt Preheat the oven to 160 °C 1 Score the rind of the…

HERTZOGGIES “My grandmother passed this recipe to my mother who passed it to me,” says Christa Arendorff of Kraaifontein. MAKES 24-28 cookies Preparation: 30 min Chilling: 20 min Baking: 20 min CRUST 375 ml (1 ½ c) cake flour 5 ml (1 t) baking powder 100 ml castor sugar pinch of salt 125 ml (½ c) cold butter 2 egg yolks 5 ml (1 t) vanilla essence 60 ml (¼ c) milk FILLING 2 egg whites 80 ml (¹/3 c) castor sugar 250 ml (1 c) desiccated coconut 1 can (225 g) smooth apricot jam Preheat the oven to 180 °C Grease a patty baking tin 1 Crust Sift the dry ingredients together in a bowl Grate the butter into the bowl and lightly rub into the flour until the…

STOCKISTS: @HOME 0860t576t576; CHECKERS 0800t010t709; CHAIR CRAZY 011t483t2225/8, 021t465t9991; MR PRICE HOME 0800t212t535; PEP HOME 0860t737t000 PICK N PAY HYPER 0800t112t288; SHEET STREET 0800t203t681; WEYLANDTS 0860t103t400; WOOLWORTHS 0860t100t987; YOUSHOPATSPREE.CO.ZA/YOU(ORGO TO YOU.CO.ZA AND CLICK ON SPREE); ZANDO.CO.ZA WE MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO PROVIDE ACCURATE PRICES BUT MISTAKES MAY OCCUR YOU AND THE SUPPLIERS DO NOT BIND THEMSELVES TO THE PRICES PRINTED HERE…

WHY CAN’T I ACCEPT MY DAUGHTER? Q My first sexual interaction was a rape that resulted in me falling pregnant at 15. My dad tried to get justice but was only laughed at – where I come from it’s taboo to even say the word rape. After years of self-pity I bounced back and went on to finish matric. Now at the age of 26 I’m in my third year of studying to be a social worker. I have a four-year-old son now too and have a healthy relationship with him, but my daughter, who’s now 11, has been raised by my parents. I support her financially and I love her but haven’t really accepted her as my child. I talk to her regularly but my parents live more than…

FAMILY TIES Octavia (44) was born the second youngest of seven children in Montgomery, Alabama, in the US Her mom, Dellsena, worked as a maid and died when Octavia was 18 “My mom taught us we could do or be anything we dared to Being a part of a large family is just like a little society; those who fight get to the top of the heap We relied on one another and still do They never discouraged me or told me to get a proper job” FROM CREW TO CAST She got into acting while working as a production assistant on the 1996 movie A Time To Kill starring Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey. Originally hired to work on casting, Octavia asked director Joel Schumacher if she could audition…

LONESOME STREET: BLUR Funk is back! The British rockers’ third single from their upcoming eighth album, The Magic Whip, is a funky, uplifting and upbeat tune and much lighter than the first two singles, Go Out and There Are Too Many Of Us. It’s Blur at their best and we can’t wait to see what they have in store next. This tune will grow on you even if you’re not a fan! AS REAL AS YOU AND ME: RIHANNA The 27-year-old Barbadian beauty not only voices the lead character in Dream-Works’ new animated movie, Home, she’s also curated the film’s soundtrack – so it’s no wonder she contributed not one but three songs! Riri shows off her set of pipes and tender side on this heart-rending, emotional ballad. If you…

“Marlene van Niekerk is the author of two immense masterpieces, Triomf and Agaat, which chart in evocative, sometimes disturbing detail the aches and aggravations of political transition in South Africa for those who saw themselves on the losing side, in particular impoverished Afrikaners Van Niekerk’s vision is ambitious, uncompromising and irrefutable The bold experimentalism of her Afrikaans takes the reader deep inside the contortions of the apartheid psyche and asks whether some historical hurts and hatreds can ever be entirely erased” The 10 authors in the running Marlene van Niekerk (South Africa) Amitav Ghosh (India) César Aira (Argentina) Hoda Barakat (Lebanon) Maryse Condé (Guadeloupe) Mia Couto (Mozambique) Fanny Howe (United States of America) Ibrahim al-Koni (Libya) László Krasznahorkai (Hungary) Alain Mabanckou (Republic of Congo)…

OH NO, YOU DIDN’T! Wow, you’re a walking time bomb. You need to chill. You’re in danger of making your friends, family and even that potential hottie in English walk on eggshells. Believe it or not, laughing at yourself will make you a happier person and peeps are totes attracted to that. Shake off the anger! GOING WITH THE FLOW, YO You’re the most laid-back member of your group and because you never take sides, you’re the one everyone turns to whenever there’s a fallout. While you usually like to leave the decision-making to others, you’re also fiercely independent and not easily influenced by anyone. WALKING ON SUNSHINE Uh, does anything faze you, like, ever? You’re the envy of your friends because you never let trivial stuff get you down.…

BECKER BOYS BORIS BECKER (47) took a break from coaching world No 1 Novak Djokovic to hang out with his family in Miami The former tennis champ relaxed next to a pool with his wife, Dutch model Sharlely “Lilly” Kerssenberg (39), their son, AMADEUS (4) and his older son, ELIAS (15) The teen’s mom is model Barbara Feltus (47), with whom Boris has another son, Noah (20) He also has a daughter, Anna (15), with Russian model Angela Ermakova DOTING CAROLINE PRINCESS CAROLINE of Monaco was on grandmother duty when daughter CHARLOTTE CASIRAGHI (28) took part in a showjumping competition in France recently The 58-year-old took care of Charlotte’s son, 16-month-old RAPHAEL, whose father is French comedian, Gad Elmaleh (43) Charlotte’s long-term partner, who usually accompanies her to high-profile events,…

I HATE CIVVIES DAY AS A TEENAGER in high school I should be ecstatic when I’m told there’s going to be civvies day. But when your mother works as a domestic worker and you have no idea where your dad is, there’s nothing more depressing. As the day gets closer, two options are open to you: either wear what you wore last civvies day or come to school in your uniform and act as if you forgot all about it. Neither option is ideal because after a while the other kids start realising a pattern of wearing the same clothes or never wearing civvies. Nothing hurts more than other kids saying, “Wow, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you wear civvies,” and even though they don’t mean it…

Parents shouldn’t hesitate when they suspect something is happening between a friend and their child, clinical psychologist Antonio Lentoor says. “Monitor your child’s behaviour and if there’s any uncertainty, don’t waste time – contact a social worker.” A child with poor mental development and verbal capacity is prone to bottle things up so a social worker can help to establish if something is wrong if you can’t do it on your own, he says. Some of the signs parents should look out for include a change in the child’s attention span, withdrawal or acting out. Lentoor says he wouldn’t advise parents to confront the alleged abuser without conclusive evidence because they may be opening themselves to both danger and legal action – they could be sued for defamation. “If you…

Most flavours go with pork but the meat is especially good with something sweet like fruit. Roast fruit Put whole fruit like small apples, pears, plums and figs in a roasting pan, brush with oil and sprinkle cinnamon sugar over. Roast until the skins are crisp and the fruit is tender. Cheese and pork are excellent together. Mustard is a classic accompaniment to pork. Mix a little honey and mayonnaise with mustard and serve it with the meat. Herbs such as fresh sage and coriander impart fabulous flavour, while spices such as star anise, ginger, cinnamon sticks and cardamom are perfect with pork. Don’t overcook pork – it’s ready when the meat just turns white. Because of its low fat content, and because the fat is on the outside, pork…

TALL AND LEAN TIPS 1 Waterfall jerseys create volume for extra curves 2 Chunky jerseys or horizontal stripes give the illusion of curves BIG BUST TIPS 1 Avoid horizontal stripes – they make you look bigger 2 Jerseys with detail on the waist and hips take the focus off your breasts SMALL BUST TIPS 1 High neck lines flatter a smaller bust 2 Wear jerseys that fit in the waist and give your curves definition PEAR SHAPE TIPS 1 Wear jerseys that are closer-fitting above and looser below 2 Detail on the shoulders or chest focuses attention on the upper body EXTRA SOURCES: ALLWOMENSTALK.COM, SOFEMININE.CO.UK, JOYOFCLOTHES.COM, YOULOOKFAB.COM STOCKISTS: ACKERMANS 0860t900t100; COTTON ON 011t230t2940; EXACT 0860t 005t439; FASHION EXPRESS 0860t104t764; FOSCHINI 0860t104t764; IDENTITY 021t460t2400; JET 0800t203t925; MR PRICE 0800t21t25t35; OLD KHAKI…

THE DROP 2014. 103 min. 16LV. Crime drama. R323* In Brooklyn, New York, the introverted Bob (Tom Hardy) works at his cousin Marv’s bar Eight years ago Marv (James Gandolfini) lost the bar to Chechen gangsters who now use it as a drop-off point for dirty money After being robbed Bob and Marv are in big trouble as the Chechens expect them to pay back the cash Meanwhile Bob finds an abused puppy in a bin close to the home of waitress Nadia (Noomi Rapace) They strike up a friendship but then her unstable ex (Matthias Schoenaerts) shows up Based on a Dennis Lehane short story, this slight but intense drama succeeds thanks to the performances of its eclectic cast – Hardy (British), Ra-pace (Swedish) and Schoenaerts (Belgian) make convincing…

SOUTH African literary buffs felt a surge of pride when the news broke that Marlene van Niekerk has been nominated for the prestigious Man Booker International Prize. The Stellenbosch author is among 10 international writers in the running for the award, which recognises achievement in fiction and carries a whopping £60 000 (R1,08 million) prize . Unlike the Man Booker Prize, which is awarded annually on the basis of a single novel, the Man Booker International Prize is announced every two years and is bestowed on an author in recognition of their body of work. Big names such as Philip Roth (2011), Alice Munro (2009) and Chinua Achebe (2007) are among the previous winners. Marlene’s fans hope her name will be added to this distinguished list when the 2015 award…

THE note simply said, “To the most beautiful girl in the world.” Instead of a signature, there was a drawing of a heart. Sarah didn’t recognise the handwriting. Who could have sent her these beautiful pink roses? She held them close to breathe in the rich perfume. They were exquisite. At the next desk Andrew gave a whistle. “Somebody loves you,” he said. “They must have cost a fortune.” Sarah felt her cheeks grow hot. “I wish I knew who he was.” She hadn’t mentioned to anyone at work that today was her birthday. Ever since she’d turned 30 last year shed decided to keep her birthdays very quiet. She didn’t need reminding she was getting older. The other thing that puzzled her was how her admirer knew she preferred…

He’s a joker Scott’s Instagram page has many fun photos of him in wigs and doing silly things He played a trick on the producers of The Longest Ride by calling them and telling them he’d been arrested and needed their help Movies are in his blood His dad, award-winning actor and director Clint Eastwood, cast Scott (29) as Springbok Joel Stransky in Invictus, about South Africa’s 1995 Rugby World Cup victory Scott says he’s unaffected by his famous name “To be honest, [my dad] didn’t care if I was a plumber or an actor. He just said, ‘Whatever you do, do it well. Be humble, work hard and be a man’.” He grew up on an island “I grew up in Hawaii, surfing and hanging out on the beach,…

YOUR FIRST YEAR OF WORK: A SURVIVAL GUIDE By S-elag- Foster This is the most comprehensive guide to succeeding in your first job. It covers basic work-readiness skills such as dress code, work ethics and communication skills, among others, that a young adult needs to develop to make a smooth transition from being a student to becoming valuable resource to any organisation. – KHAYA MATLALA, YOUTH CAREER COACH AND TRAINER HOW TO GO ON LIVING WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIES By T-erese Rando This easy and practical book helps you to understand the grieving process and find comfort. It also provides specific coping strategies for various situations. Also try Back To Life by Jennie Wright: it’s simply written and provides grief education, coping strategies, soothing comfort and hope. – DR…

Recently I was feeling depressed after visiting my husband in ICU. On my way home I called in at a supermarket for a couple of items. While I was waiting to pay in the express queue a man was paying for his purchases and he turned to hand his daughter a bottle of water. Making a friendly joke, I said, “If I stand here can I also have one?” The daughter laughed and said it depended on what I wanted. The moment passed and I waited for them to finish and move on. The gentleman suddenly beckoned for me to put my basket on the counter as he wanted to pay for my purchases. I declined and said it was unnecessary. He was insistent. I gave it a moment’s thought…

She entered the Samsung ‘For the love of food’ competition and is the winner in the quick snacks category. Her delicious, nutritious, economical and moreish recipe blew us away. Kelly, who submitted this recipe, grew up in a family of 7. With tight budget constraints, her mom always found an ingenious way to make the most of what they had. This recipe is one of those flashes of brilliance made from everyday pantry staples and has been elevated into something special and all five kids agree! For Kelly, these easy-to-make, penny-pinching parcels are the first thing to be snapped up at social occasions. INGREDIENTS: 1 medium onion, 1 tin Pilchards, 1 chopped chilli (optional), 1 egg, 6 slices bread, 250ml cooking oil, breadcrumbs. METHOD: Finely chop the onion and chilli…

ASIAN CORIANDER AND LENTIL CAKES These meat-free cakes pack a protein punch and are so tasty that non-vegetarians will love them too. SERVES 4 Preparation: 10 min Standing: 15 min Cooking: 20 min 2 cans (410 g each) lentils, rinsed and drained 1 onion, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 chilli, chopped (optional) 1 round feta cheese, crumbled grated zest of 1 lemon (optional) 10 g fresh coriander, chopped 10 g fresh parsley, chopped 5 ml (1 t) roasted curry powder 2 eggs, whisked 80 ml (¹/› c) cake flour salt and pepper oil for frying 1 Mix the ingredients except the oil and leave to stand for at least 15 minutes 2 Heat a little oil in a nonstick pan Add spoonfuls of the mixture and cook over…

DARE TO WEAR ULTRA-PALE PLATINUM CATWALK INSPIRATION PINK HAIR Rainbow hues for hair have been in for a while, but pink is the colour of the moment THE GRINGE Fashionista Alexa Chung sports a grown-out fringe (also known as a gringe) Celebrity colourist Josh Wood says it makes the wearer’s eyes pop and contours the face better than any bronzer PONYTAILS Ponytails were all over Paris Fashion Week this year When Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, wears it invariably everyone follows WOODSTOCK WAVES Josh Wood believes Chloë Grace Moretz’s Woodstock hippy curls look better than perfect curls “Hair that looks too perfect just looks older,” he says SO ICY Kim Kardashian had Paris Fashion Week buzzing when she went ice blonde…

STEP 1 Position yourself parallel to the pavement and slightly ahead of the car that’s in front of the space you want to park in: you’re going to reverse in Check that it’s safe to begin the manoeuvre STEP 2 Reverse slowly, and when the back of your car is level with the back of the other car, turn your steering wheel one full turn towards the pavement until the front of your car is pointing to about 2 o’clock STEP 3 Straighten the steering wheel and reverse until the front corner of your car passes the back of the car in front Turn the wheel two full turns in the other direction and continue reversing STEP 4 Reverse slowly into the space, taking care not to clip the car…

Many couples opt not to get married. But what financial security and rights do you have when you live together? And what happens if your partner dies? WHAT IS MY LEGAL STATUS? There’s no such concept as common-law marriage in South African law, says Old Mutual legal manager Soré Cloete. People who live together aren’t regarded as legal spouses, no matter how long they’ve lived together or whatever the reason is for them not marrying. This means they’re not covered by the rights of conventionally married couples but they can take steps to ensure their financial security. REGISTERED RELATIONSHIPS Soré says these relationships can be registered under the Civil Union Act. The registered relationship is then officially a civil union. A couple’s rights depend on the kind of matrimonial property…

LISTEN TO THIS! PIECE BY PIECE KELLY CLARKSON R162 She was crowned American Idol 13 years ago and with her seventh offering – her third to top the US Billboard 200 album chart – she again shows why she’s one of the most successful winners of the show yet Kelly sticks to what she does best, but this album is a shift from the radio-friendly pop-rock fans have come to know towards electropop and EDM Yet the songs, about heartbreak, empowerment and personal struggles, are easy to relate to and personal The emotional title track is about how she has no relationship with her father It’s not all serious though – the first single, Heartbeat Song, is upbeat, and a highlight is the John Legend-assisted Run Run Run An enjoyable…

Never read Marlene van Niekerk before? Agaat is a good place to start. It explores the complicated relationship that exists between Milla Redelinghuys, the owner of the farm Grootmoedersdrift near Swellendam, and Agaat Lourier, a coloured servant who’s worked for her for most of her life. Born with a stunted arm, Agaat was adopted by the childless Milla and then cruelly abandoned and relegated to the role of housekeeper. But with the end of apartheid and as Milla lies paralysed, dying of motor neurone disease, she finds herself at Agaat’s mercy. The tables are turned in this intense examination of power and dependence. Originally published in Afrikaans, it was translated into English by author Michiel Heyns who won the Sol Plaatje Award for his skilful efforts. The Times Literary Supplement…

ARIES MAR 21 – APR 19 Your big chance to fulfil your personal goals It’s time to look to the future You’re in a prime position to implement changes or adjustments necessary to reach your highest aspirations and fulfil your personal goals You’re focused, with a strong competitive drive Do take care, though, as overtaxing your physical and/or psychological energy levels may lead to burnout Someone in authority may have a profound impact on your sense of self-worth YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 37, 32, 30, 39, 38, 6 TAURUS APRIL 20 – MAY 20 The Sun moves into your sign this week, which means your birthday is coming up It’s time to celebrate, even though entertaining your friends may somewhat drain your pocket As it is, you’re probably feeling the pinch…

DISCRIMINATION is the unfair treatment of a person or group of people. The ill-treatment could be based on the person’s sex, religion, nationality, culture, race or other personal characteristics. Discrimination because of someone’s race is called racism. DISCRIMINATION DENIES PEOPLE CERTAIN FREEDOMS Discrimination prevents people from doing what others can freely do This can happen in many ways and in many situations – at work, in public or at school For example, if a learner isn’t allowed to attend a school because of her race the school is discriminating against her Governments have discriminated against large groups of their citizens by passing laws that make it difficult for certain people to vote, attend school, move about freely or do any of the things other citizens are allowed to do For…

2003: Soon after completing matric he makes a cameo appearance in Isidingo, playing a gang member who threatens Kim Engelbrecht’s character, Lolly. 2006: He’s part of radio station Yfm’s repositioning and presents the early morning show Noah’s Ark. 2007: With Dineo Ranaka he presents The Real Goboza, SABC1’s show about celebrities. 2008: Trevor and dancer Hayley Hammond finish second in the fourth season of the South African version of Strictly Come Dancing. 2010: Trevor’s chat show, Tonight With Trevor Noah, based on the formula of American late-night chat shows, is launched on M-Net. 2012: He’s the first South African comedian to appear on Jay Leno’s The Tonight Show in America.…

ZAYN MALIK (22) and PERRIE EDWARDS (21) look to be doing everything in their power to put the One Directioner’s cheating scandal behind them After being spotted checking out a £2 million (R36 million) house in Hertfordshire, England, last week, the engaged couple, who are hoping to marry this year, flew off for a make-or-break holiday where Instagram snaps posted by Zayn’s sister showed them looking loved-up While the location is being kept secret, fans have pointed out the backdrop looks could be the Italian city Perugia Meanwhile Zayn’s rep has taken another hit after his producer pal NAUGHTY BOY leaked a demo recording of his first solo effort online and it turned out to be an old 1D track But he removed it after a backlash from fans and…

• Has BRADLEY COOPER (40) moved on already? The actor, who recently dumped his model girlfriend of two years, Suki Waterhouse (23) – reportedly because she didn’t support his career enough and spent Valentine’s Day with her gal pals instead of him – has been seen out with another model, Jayden Robison (21). They were snapped in an Instagram video while partying in a Boston nightclub. Hmm! • AVRIL LAVIGNE (30) has finally revealed why she suddenly disappeared from public life late last year – she was fighting Lyme disease. “I was bedridden for five months,” the Canadian singer told People magazine, saying she’s now “80 percent better”. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk or move, I thought I was dying. It felt like having all your…