Innholdsfortegnelse for 23 July 2015 i You South Africa

I’M SO stressed! It’s something we hear or say so often it’s almost a throwaway line. But stress is real and can be debilitating. I become strangely stressed when we’re about to travel on holiday. You’d think leaving the pressure of YOU’s weekly deadlines would make me feel fabulous. But it’s just a different kind of stress – I worry about whether the taxi we booked will arrive and get us to the airport on time. Or that we might lose our documents. Silly things but only slightly less stress-inducing for me than making sure YOU gets to the printers on time with the best possible stories each week. In our feature on page 108 Charlotte Watts, author of The De-Stress Effect, refers to a “stress suit” you wear. There…

THEY’VE heard it all. “All he wants is her money.” “She could have been his grandmother.” “What if she becomes ill one day and he has to look after her?” Kobie and Johanna Coetzee have had to listen to this and more – but after 10 years together they’re no longer fazed by nasty remarks. Yes, there’s a 41-year age gap between them – she’s 84 and he’s 43. But “age is just a number”, Johanna says. “It’s love that really matters.” People who make vicious remarks don’t know what true love is, Kobie adds. We’re chatting to the couple in the two-bedroom flat they rent in Port Shepstone in KwaZulu-Natal. One of Johanna’s daughters, Hannetjie (58), and her husband, Japie Liebenberg (56), who’s Kobie’s uncle, share the flat with…

IT’S NOT just a recipe book – Bitter + Sweet is also a storybook, a book of poems and rhymes, and a songbook that describes farm life and the trials and tribulations of the main character, Mietha Klaaste. The more than 90 recipes hark back to olden days with simple dishes such as vetkoek, bobotie with yellow rice and raisins, and old-fashioned baked sago pudding. PANCAKES MAKES 25 PANCAKESPreparation: 15 minStanding: 15-30 minCooking: 1 hour 6 farm eggs, separated30 ml (2 T) melted butter250 g cake flourpinch of salt1 litre (4 c) full-cream milk15 ml (1 T) oilcinnamon sugarlemon halves 1 Beat the egg yolks well Beat the egg whites well but not until stiff Fold the whites into the yolks 2 Stir in the melted butter and flour a…

TALL AND SLIM TIPS 1 You can wear most styles of jeans, but a loose-fiting pair won’t do much to show off your good figure 2 Bootleg jeans are usually worn longer than other styles and complement long legs BIG CALVES TIPS 1 Wear flares because close-fiting jeans are too tight around your calves 2 Wear a belt or other detail at the top to draw the focus upwards BROAD WAIST TIPS 1 Choose jeans that sit just below the waist; they’ll hide your tummy and provide shape 2 If you’re heavier on top, wear jeans with wider legs to look more balanced HOURGLASS/CURVES TIPS 1 Choose jeans in darker shades for a slimmer look 2 Wear jeans in fabrics that stretch a bit and slip over your curves instead…

I’M DESTITUTE AND DESPERATE Q I’m 57 years old and have been divorced for four years. I was a housewife for the 27 years of my married life. I have two children, one of whom still lives with me, is a student and earns very little in a part-time job. My husband didn’t want me to work but rather stay at home and raise the kids. Like a fool I remarried a year after my divorce. I married a friend who I thought was a gem but who turned out to be a nightmare. He was abusive and I no longer have contact with him and get no financial support. My children’s father is unreliable and has lost his job. But he does try to help when he has money.…

Many readers shared their experience of PMS with us via email. • I’m such an emotional wreck my husband sometimes works extra shifts just so he doesn’t have to be at home. – Bianca • I turn into a real witch. I even lost my previous job because of my moods. – Iris • I get so exhausted it’s hard just to put one foot in front of the other. – Nthabi • I get so depressed I take everything personally and blame everyone around me. And then when it’s over I have no idea why I got so stressed or fought over something so stupid. – Annette • My son already knows; he even asks, “Is Mom having PMS again?” – Ronell…

Send suggestions for topics and requests for info to yourmoney@you.co.za. We may answer your questions in this column but won’t reply personally. DON’T BE GREEDY Conmen rely on our greed, the desperation of the elderly with meagre incomes, and people’s fear of missing out on a wonderful opportunity. Prosperity results from hard work and good investments and you can’t turn a few hundred rand into a fortune overnight, warns Justus van Pletzen of the Financial Intermediaries Association of Southern Africa (FIA). Only market-related returns are realistic. This means the growth offered should be comparable to that of similar investments. DO YOUR HOMEWORK Investigate the record of the company or person offering you an investment. The company must be registered with the Financial Services Board (FSB) to ensure it meets legal…

HOW IT WORKS A woman finds out she’s pregnant and tells the good news to anyone who’ll listen As it happens her four-year-old son overhears some of his parents’ private conversations about the baby One day when the woman is out shopping with her son they bump into a neighbour, who asks the little boy if he’s excited about the new baby “Yes!” the kid says “And I know what we are going to name it: if it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits ” LUCIEN JULY LITTLE JOHNNY One day Little Johnny accompanies his father to a horse auction He watches as his dad moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down each…

JUST DON’T DO IT Sometimes, no matter how much we want to do something, we just have to stop and listen to the advice of those who really care about us. It seems as if this decision is one that can’t easily be undone, which might be why it could upset people. Consider other options that will have a less negative impact. After all, there’s little worse than regretting something you’ve done when you should have known better. THINK IT OVER We know it’s annoying when the Magic 8 Ball says to try again later but sometimes you just have to take time to think things through. Not being able to talk about a situation with your nearest and dearest is often a key indicator that maybe it isn’t the…

CAPE TOWN JEANNE-MARI DE VILLIERS (24), STRAND If you could choose who tastes your boerewors, who would it be? I want all of South Africa to taste my boerewors. It would really mean so much to me. What’s your favourite boerewors dish? I like to keep it simple – braaied boerewors is my favourite. I love it with a braaibroodjie or pap on the side. JACO BESTER (29), CAPE TOWN What are your three rules for delicious boerewors? Boerewors must be juicy, it must be flavourful and it must be braaied. Why did you enter the Championship Boerewors competition? I know my boerewors tastes great and I believe I have a good chance of winning. HENDRIK GROENEWALD (29), STRAND Why do you love boerewors? I like the tradition, the herbs…

IT’S a modern malaise we’re all familiar with but few can escape. We become stressed at some point – and it affects everyone in different ways. The specific way in which your body shows stress symptoms is the “stress suit” you wear, says Charlotte Watts, author of The De-Stress Effect. “You’ll probably identify with more than one stress suit as no body system works in isolation, so decide if you want to address the most pressing concern or several at a time. Every change will filter through.” STRESSED AND WIRED Symptoms and signs Being on “constant alert” Quick reactions to stressful situations Little relaxation time or unable to relax Feeling the need to constantly “do” Long-term life demands and/or emotional stressors Feeling less “able to cope” Mood swings, irritability, patience…

EMOTIONS affect everything we do. Our spending is no exception. Are emotions driving the One Rand Family’s budget? Each family member completed the “What’s your money personality test” to see how their emotions influence their financial behaviour. The seven levels of money awareness “There are seven types of personalities when it comes to money and emotions: reactive, conformer, aspirant, individuator, disciplined, experienced and master,” international human behavioural specialist and author Mavis Mazhura say. “Each level of awareness is driven by a unique set of emotions and comes with a specific approach to tackling finances.” So where do the members of the One Rand Family fit in? Here are five tips to help you to manage emotions, provided by Jamey Lipschitz, wealth manager at Sanlam Private Wealth. We all respond differently…

Shell tin not for sale, Peter Osborn Furniture Clock R199,99, Mr Price Home Dragon art by Zoe Mafham R995, Peter Osborn Furniture Terracota votive candles R65 for four, @home Birdhouse R220, Peter Osborn Furniture Glass jars R14,98 (small) and R22,99 (large), The Crazy Store Tumblers R5,99 each, Pep Home Blue tea glasses R29,95 each, café soup bowls R45 each and cereal bowls R69,95 each, Woolworths Mason spice shaker R6,99, Pep Home Cookie cuters in a tin R180, Woolworths Footed mugs R25,99 each and metal lace cut-out holder R119,99, Mr Price Home Vintage teacups R99 each, @home Small glass jar with lid R8,99, Pep Home Pink bowls R9,99 each, Checkers White bowls R9,99 each, Pep Home Pink jug R139 and blue medicine botle R159, @home Pressed tumbler R39,95, Woolworths Mixing bowl…

NEW LOOK BLONDES HAVING FUN Country music star SHANIA TWAIN has shaved years off her age with her new hair colour and cut The blonde does wonders for her complexion and she looks radiant The layered cut frames her square face perfectly TOP BOBS Hollywood A-listers are obsessed with the shoulder-length bob We’ve watched a lot of mature celebrities going for this look as it not only looks super chic but takes years off your appearance We just love how these hot mamas are wearing theirs 4 WAYS TO WEAR BRAIDS Best thing about braids? You can change your look daily and there are thousands of videos online that show you how to create these looks Wear braids in a soft side-swept fishtail like Tori, roll it up into a…

IN A day or two Rita Johnson* will once again turn into a monster. She’ll start swearing and shouting at her family. Sometimes she’ll cry uncontrollably. Doors will be slammed. Her children have learnt to get out of her way when she suddenly turns into a nasty witch. Her husband takes refuge in the garage where he stays until it’s all over. Yes, it’s that time of the month again in the Johnson household in Pretoria. “My family already know I’ll cry, swear and make a huge scene if even the slightest thing is wrong,” says the 41-year-old mother of two. “Our home becomes one big battlefield – and I’m to blame. For four or five rough days. “Afterwards I ask myself, ‘Lord, why do I do it?’ I feel…

IN HIS latest movie, Black Sea, Jude Law plays a submarine captain who out of desperation accepts a shadowy job to search the depths of the Black Sea for a sunken vessel rumoured to be loaded with gold. Here the 42-year-old British actor talks about preparing for the role and the challenges of making a movie on a submarine. How do you manage to work so much with your big family? It’s the dilemma for any working adult – you’re working to provide and yet by working you’re away from the very thing you’re providing for [Jude has five children]. It was a story I heard quite frequently from the submariners I met while researching my role. They found it hard getting back into the swing of things when they…

A All ages D Drugs H Horror L Language N Nudity P Prejudice PG Parental guidance S Sex V Violence LISTEN TO THIS! SOMEWHERE UNDER WONDERLAND COUNTING CROWS Many people know Counting Crows only for their Oscar-nominated song Accidentally In Love from the Shrek 2 soundtrack (2004) but this is in fact the seventh album from the band fronted by singer Adam Duritz If you’ve come to love their alternative rock sound you’ll be glad to hear this record offers more of the same Some of the lyrics reflect a longing for bygone times, which is appropriate: this album sounds as if it’s from the late 1990s – PETRUS MALHERBE NEW ON THE BIG SCREEN / ENTOURAGE BLACK COMEDY. With ADRIAN GRENIER, KEVIN CONNOLLY and KEVIN DILLON. Director: DOUG EGLIN.…

REDI TLHABI, TV and radio presenter and author of Endings & Beginnings What are your memories of your first time reading To Kill A Mockingbird? It was particularly memorable because of the dramatic way in which my high school teacher delved into its many themes and motifs The plot unfolds delicately and authoritatively It’s an unforgetable read How do you feel about the sequel – do you think it will be as good as the original? I’m naturally circumspect and tend to manage my expectations quite conservatively I think it’s a brilliant idea that the world of literature will be enriched by another Harper Lee novel It’s almost surreal But I approach her latest venture with care I’ll read it with fresh eyes and let its magic, or lack thereof,…

LEO JULY 22 – AUGUST 22 Your finances might worry you this week With both the Sun and Mercury moving into Leo this week, you won’t be lacking in confidence in relation to expressing yourself, whether in deed or word Since your presence is formidable it has a ripple effect and influences those around you So take care to use your charm in an inspirational way; try to motivate rather than dominate Domestic requirements may cause you to feel the pinch, making it a good time to re-evaluate your spending habits YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 6, 44, 43, 17, 15, 26 VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22 Your planet, Mercury, moves into glamorous Leo this week, so it’s opportune to take your appearance in hand First impressions count and looking your…

You recently starred in Irish band The Script’s music video for Man On A Wire, in which you had to walk a tightrope. What was that like? When I did the audition they asked me if I was afraid of heights Luckily I’m not – but I’ve never had to walk on a 40 m-high tightrope before! It was scary, but also exhilarating and exciting The band were great – they cheered me on What else are you up to this year? I’ve just finished a series called Mat Joubert, which is based on local author Deon Meyer’s novel Dead Before Dying I also filmed a pilot episode for an American series called Of Kings And Prophets, in which I’ll be playing a princess And I just found out I…

C‘AN you get to the John Henry rehearsal rooms by 4 o’clock this afternoon?” barked an unfamiliar voice down the phone. “It’s an audition for a US tour with a well-known band. The tour starts in five days. Can’t tell you who it is yet, sorry.” “Oh, okay . . . great, would you mind hanging on for one minute? I just need to check my diary,” I lied, rifling through papers in an attempt to sound as if I had a frantic schedule. “Erm, actually, yes, yes, I believe I can make it, what’s the address?” Changing into my best ripped jeans and striped shirt, I jumped into a black cab to the popular London rehearsal venue. With enormous trepidation I heaved open the giant steel door of the…

Sunny Seychelles They can now tick “island holiday” off their family bucket list, LOYISO BALA says The singer, wife JENNIFER and their two-year-old daughter, KENZIE, enjoyed a family break in the Seychelles recently and had a wonderful time soaking up the sun, swimming and sightseeing They visited two islands and went snorkelling and litle Kenzie even rode a giant turtle on Curieuse Island, Loyiso revealed on Instagram “I love my country but I’m starting to realise that where my family is, is where my heart is” he said on the social network “They’re the greatest gift ever given to me by my Heavenly Father’’ Kisses from Mauritius! TV presenter CINDY NELL-ROBERTS and her family spent a fun-filled few days in Mauritius The former Miss SA, husband Clive Roberts and their…

It’s with a broken heart that I write this letter, perhaps hoping for answers more than anything else. I’ve been a widow for 20 years with two beautiful sons, now aged 31 and 28. I never had a day’s problem while raising them but, boy oh boy, was I in for a surprise. My eldest son is a kind, soft-hearted boy but he’s still living with me and on a path of destruction. His room is like a pigsty. He speaks to me disrespectfully, he drinks, he gambles. My younger son works in another town and faces daily struggles of his own but is respectful, sporty and a perfectionist who cares about the day after tomorrow. I’ve tried to lock my older son out to find his own place but…

Peruvian photographer Mario Testino, a friend of Diana, was a surprise choice to shoot the little princess’ big day. He’s taken many royal portraits over the years but rarely in such a formal setting. He took William and Kate’s official engagement portraits in 2010 but possibly his most famous royal pictures are Vanity Fair magazine’s playful portraits of Diana at age 36 in 1997. The 60-year-old said he was overwhelmed to be a part of Charlotte’s special day. It was an “amazing experience”, he told Britain’s Daily Mail. “What impressed me the most was the energy of the family and of that between the Duke and Duchess. “One sees how solid they are together and one gets a sense of their strong family values. It was incredible to be able…

THE day he stabbed her repeatedly with a broken bottle then left her for dead she saw intense hatred in his eyes. When she visited him in prison recently she wanted him to see forgiveness in hers. It’s been nearly three years since Thabo Thamaie attacked Nadia Gibbens and all the loathing he displayed then has left him, she says. “There was no more hatred,” Nadia (34) says of her visit to Thabo (22), who’s now serving a 20-year sentence. “He was nervous all the time and sat there with his head bowed. He’s a different man to the one who attacked me. “People say I’m stupid to forgive him or want to help him on the road to rehabilitation but bitterness eats you up. Just here,” she says, pointing…

LEBANESE BRINJAL BAKE SERVES 4  Preparation: 10 min Cooking: 30-35 min 4 large brinjals, sliced45 ml (3 T) olive oilsalt and pepper TOMATO SAUCE 15 ml (1 T) olive oil1 onion, chopped3 garlic cloves,chopped1 can (410 g) choppedtomatoes10 ml (2 t) sugar2 ml (½ t) groundcinnamon2 ml (½ t) groundallspicesalt and pepper RICE 500 ml (2 c) cookedrice10 g fresh parsley,chopped1 garlic clove, chopped60 ml (¼ c) sunflowerseeds, toastedgrated zest of 1 lemon Preheat the oven to 200 °C Grease a baking sheet and an ovenproof dish with nonstick spray 1 Arrange the brinjal slices on the baking sheet, pour the oil over and season with salt and pepper Roast for 15 minutes or until done 2 Tomato sauce Heat the oil and fry the onion and garlic Add the…

STEP 1 Download the YOU 3D app (free from the iTunes App and Google Play stores) to your smartphone. STEP 2 Look for the pages with the YOU 3D icon (shown left). Open the app and scan the page you want to shop by hovering your phone over the page. STEP 3 Red buttons will appear next to the items available to buy. Tap the red button of the item you want and you’ll be sent to the store’s webpage. Add the item to the cart, follow the payment steps and it’s yours!…

ABBREVIATIONS  alt - alternate beg – begin(ning) C3B – cable 3 back by sl 1 st onto a CN and hold at back of work, k2, then p1 from CN C3F – cable 3 front by sl 2 sts onto a CN and hold at front of work, p1, then k 2 sts from CN C5B – cable 5 back by sl 3 sts onto a CN and hold at back of work, k2, then p1, k2 from sts held on CN c/on(off) - cast on(off) cont - continue dec – decrease(ing) foll(s) – follow(s)(ing) k – knit kfb – knit into front and back of next st MB – make a bobble by (k1, p1)twice into next st, turn, p4, turn, k4, turn, p4, turn, k4, turn, p4, turn…

During that time of the month, do you ever become so angry with someone you feel like you could kill them? Sorry, but the courts won’t accept this as an excuse. Only in exceptional cases would a court take PMS or PMDD into consideration as an extenuating circumstance when sentencing someone for a crime. For example in 1978, convicted British arsonist Nicola Owen was conditionally released after it was shown she’d suffered from severe PMDD when starting a series of fires every 28 days. In England, 17-year-old Anna Reynolds’ murder conviction was changed to culpable homicide after she’d killed her sleeping mom with a hammer in 1987. She too suffered from PMDD. There are no known local cases where PMS or PMDD have been used as an extenuating circumstance, says…

DALENE RICKETTS (47), senior admin clerk, Brackenfell, Cape Town How did week four of the diet go? No problems! Are you satisfied with the results? Yes. I’ve lost a total of 3,5 kg and my sugar level is now between 7 and 9, which is much lower than the initial 13. What changes have you made? My colleagues and I used to stuff ourselves on chocolate but I’ve stopped doing that. I now keep some diabetic chocolate at home and nibble on it now and then. What have you learnt? In the supermarket I now look out for the diabetic logo on products. I have stopped eating ordinary white bread and buy the loaf with the logo. I do the same with the canned pineapple pieces that I love using…

She became a household name in 2012 when she reached the top six of SA Idols. Now the 20-year-old songbird is heating up the charts with a single that’s being hailed as one of the hottest songs of the year. Meet the talented singer behind the groovy Kyle Deutsch-assisted track, Back To The Beach. What have you been up to since Idols? First I had to finish matric! I then had a gap year which I spent performing, writing, making videos and honing my craft. After that I enrolled at the SA School of Motion Picture Medium and Live Performance (AFDA), where I’m now a second-year music performance and production student. Tell us more about your collaboration with former Idols contestant Kyle Deutsch. Kyle and I met on Idols. We…

To Kill A Mockingbird still sells nearly a million copies a year – which is much more than other American classics such as The Great Gatsby and The Catcher In The Rye. In a 2006 poll of British librarians it was named as the book every adult should read before they die. The Bible was their second choice. Harper Lee, the youngest of four children, based the book on some of her experiences growing up in Monroeville, Alabama. But although people are always quick to assume she based Scout on herself, she’s said she has more in common with her protagonist’s mysterious next-door neighbour, Boo Radley. Growing up, Lee lived next door to budding author Truman Capote. They were childhood friends and she helped him research his non-fiction bestseller, In…

Tove Lo (27) says her “academic” parents are both concerned about and supportive of her musical ambitions. ‘They weren’t very happy with my choices at first but now they’re very proud Worried, but proud’ WHAT’S IN A NAME? Born Ebba Tove Elsa Nilsson to a psychologist mom and businessman dad, she was raised in “a kind of posh area in Stockholm”. She added her nickname, Lo, to her stage name (pronounced Too-veh Loo). It’s Swedish for a lynx, a wildcat she fell in love with. Before cracking the music industry as a singer she wrote songs for artists such as Icona Pop, Lea Michele and Ellie Goulding (she penned Ellie’s smash hit Love Me Like You Do). ‘I write when I’m on my own and isolated and it’s better to…

ACTOR JOHN TRAVOLTA (61) will face off in court against his former em loyee and alleged lover, DOUGLAS GOTTERBA The Killing Season star wants to silence Douglas, who in 2012 claimed they’d had a steamy six-year affair in the ’80s when he worked for John as a pilot John has since sued Douglas (65), citi g a confidentiality agreement But Douglas claims he signed no such document and filed a countersuit A Santa Barbara sup rior court judge has now denied a motion by John’s counsel to dismiss the case and a trial confi mation hearing will take place on 7 August Douglas previously claimed he stayed in ro ms next to John in luxury hotels “He’d ask me to join him in his suite and we’d spend nights t…