Innholdsfortegnelse for 11-Feb-16 i You South Africa

I KNOW I’ve talked about marriage and divorce often in my editor’s letters but I feel so strongly about making marriages work that here I go again. Looking at my single friends I’m so thankful I’m not out there in the dating game, starting all over again. Our article on dating over the age of 50 drew such a strong response from our readers it obviously touched a nerve. Our advice article on page 46 gives tips on how to keep your marriage healthy and happy. You may have heard some of them before but they’re all worth repeating. The best advice quoted is, “You need to be friends when starting out and you need to stay friends.” If your partner isn’t also your friend, I imagine it takes far…

WHEN they took their vows on 23 January it was exactly seven years to the day that he’d walked up to her in a nightclub and said, “Hello to the most beautiful girl in Cape Town.” They’d met at a modelling shoot a few weeks earlier and Janez Vermeiren had been quite taken with beautiful brunette Juliana Vasconcelos so he couldn’t believe his luck when he saw her in the club on 23 January 2009. It might have sounded like a smooth pick-up line but Juliana couldn’t resist Janez’s charm. Fast forward seven years and the couple were saying their I do’s in front of family members and close friends in the same city on the same day. “We were always meant to get married on 23 January,” Janez (37)…

HER dream of owning a cake shop came true – and then some! Five years ago Jandri van Zyl started a tiny eatery in Cape Town’s northern suburbs. It’s since grown into a fully fledged cake business, The Velvet Cake Co in Durbanville, which recently also sprouted a shop in trendy Loop Street in the heart of the Mother City. “My grandmother was an excellent baker, my mom was in the chef ’s industry and I got my first gift of a baking book at the tender age of 10,” Jandri says by way of explaining the origins of her passion. She offers a selection of about 15 cakes, each produced with great care by the 30-strong staff in Durbanville, most of them former kitchen workers Jandri has personally trained.…

HOW IT WILL BE Girlfriend: “When we get married I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden” Boyfriend: “That’s kind of you darling, but I don’t have any worries, troubles or burdens” Girlfriend: “Well, that’s because we’re not married yet” ANYOLDWAY A newly married man asks his wife, “Darling, would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?” “Honey,” his wife replies sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter who left you a fortune.” GAIL ROKEBRAND ALL IN THE LEGS Joe’s taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. He’s been working hard for the year-end exam, memorising his textbook and studying all his class notes. The night before the exam he feels he’s ready and would do really well.…

BARBARA Davey was in primary school when the crossword puzzle bug first bit. As a child she loved helping her parents do the puzzles in the daily newspapers. It became a family ritual. “We’d all sit down and go through it clue by clue, each giving their answers and solve the puzzle that way,” Barbara (55) recalls. When she discovered YOU’s Blockbusters more than 20 years ago as an adult she was hooked from the word go. But try as she may some clues always left her stumped so she found it impossible to finish the puzzles. “Out of frustration I decided to write down all the clues and answers in exercise books every week,” says Barbara, a housewife from Wellington in the Western Cape. Eventually she had so many…

MUSIC INDUSTRY It took her almost a decade to get her big break in the music industry. “I worked so hard for so long and got to the point of . . . I didn’t think it was going to happen. I thought I might need to figure something else out. That moment bred Fight Song.” She’s been with her husband, lawyer Kevin Lazan, for 10 years. “He’s a huge reason I kept believing in my dreams.” HER ICON IS . . . Malala Yousafzai, who defied the Taliban in Pakistan by demanding that girls be allowed to receive an education. She was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman in 2012 but survived and continues to fight for women’s education. PARENTS With a therapist for a mom and…

• He negotiates airports with ease. • Never lets a door slam in someone’s face. • Can train a dog as well as a rose. • Is aware facial hair is temporary but a tattoo is permanent. • Knows when not to say anything. • Wears his learning lightly. • Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit and a dinner jacket. • Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes. • Turns his cellphone to silent at dinner. • Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms. • Tips a gamekeeper as well as staff in a private house. • Says his name when being introduced. • Breaks a relationship face to face. • Is unafraid to speak the truth. • Knows when to clap. • Arrives at a…

“Technology is great if the right checks and balances are in place,” therapist Janet Gibbins says. “Even though exposure is good, dependence isn’t,” psychologist Ellie Dykema-Hansen says. “If your child becomes dependent on his device it could negatively affect other areas of development. “If your child is unable to go anywhere without the device, and specifically environments where they’re not needed, for example at dinner, they have a problem.” Have an open-door policy, Dykema-Hansen advises. “No secrecy is allowed. Children are entitled to privacy, which increases with age, but it’s still important to monitor the content of their technological devices for their own protection.”…

Ooh, Lalla! She’s known for her hot body, especially her killer abs – and here we show you exactly how LALLAHIRAYAMAstays in such great shape. The Vuzu Amp presenter, who split from boyfriend of five years Chris Nkosi in December, works pretty hard to maintain her amazing body. “I love to run – I try to do that at least four or five times a week, either road or treadmill. And I add a bit of weight training, mat work, Bikram yoga and swimming inbetween” she says. “I really enjoy being active” the Japanese-born beauty adds. “I look forward to it every day. It helps me think clearly, releases any worry or stress, keeps me happy and makes sure I get a good night’s rest” Lalla (28) admits to having…

WOW, LOUIS TOMLINSON (24) seems to have gone from dude-about-town to doting dad! The One Direction hottie showed off his newborn son, named FREDDIE REIGN (and not Sydney Rain as first speculated), for the first time in a tender Twitpic. “Louis is already loving being a father and is so proud of Freddie” an insider revealed. The baby’s mom, Los Angeles-based stylist BRIANA JUNGWIRTH (23), also proudly showed off her firstborn on Instagram. Despite no longer being together, Louis and Briana seem to be doing their best to co-parent amicably and chose the baby’s name together. Louis is also reportedly renting a three-bedroom home in Calabasas, California, for Briana and Freddie.…

• Congrats to TYRA BANKS (42) and her boyfriend, Norwegian photographer Erik Asla, who’ve welcomed a baby boy, York Banks Asla, via a surrogate. The supermodel-turned-TV mogul, who’s made no secret of her fertility struggle, made the announcement on her Instagram, saying the tot has “my fingers and big eyes and his daddy’s mouth and chin”. She also wrote that she will pray for couples struggling to “reach this joyous milestone”. • Seems former Grey’s Anatomy star PATRICK DEMPSEY (50) is ready to give up his beloved car racing if it means saving his once-doomed marriage! He and estranged wife Jillian, who split last year after 16 years, are trying to patch up their marriage but according to an insider she’s demanding he quit his all-consuming hobby. “Patrick thinks it’s…

STEAK SALAD WITH VEGGIE CHIPS We used veggie chips instead of croutons to add crunch to this delicious salad. SERVES 4Preparation: 10 minCooking: 10 minResting: 5 min STEAK 400 g sirloin steaksalt and freshlyground pepper5 ml (1 t) sunfloweroil5 ml (1 t) butter SALAD 120 g mixed lettuce 2 rounds feta cheese 15 ml (1 T) balsamicvinegar 15 ml (1 T) olive oil 1 packet (36 g)vegetable chips 1 Steak Season the meat on both sides with salt and pepper. Brush with the oil. 2 Heat a pan until smoking hot and seal the steak on both sides. Reduce the heat, add the butter and, turning often, cook the steak to the desired degree of doneness (about 3 minutes a side). 3 Remove from the heat and allow to rest…

WHO CAN COMPLAIN? If you’re unable to sort out a problem you have with your pension fund you can ask the pension adjudicator to intervene. Their job is to resolve pension fund disputes and their service is free, so you don’t have to pay an attorney. The complainant can be: • A fund member or former member. • A beneficiary or former beneficiary of a fund. • An employer who participates in a fund. • The board or management of a fund, or any member of the board. WHAT KIND OF COMPLAINTS? Any complaint must concern the administration of a pension fund, the investment of fund assets or the application of fund rules and involve one of the following: • The fund took a decision that’s beyond its powers. •…

LISTEN TO THIS! BLACKSTAR DAVID BOWIE Fans worldwide mourned the death last month of legendary pop icon David Bowie from cancer. The artist behind hits such as Space Oddity, Heroes and Let’s Dance died two days after this, his 25th album, was released. It takes you on a nostalgic trip of rediscovery and listening to it you can’t help but think the singer knew the end was near. The album is dominated by the sound of the saxophone, and with good reason – it was one of Bowie’s favourite instruments. Standout track Lazarus kicks off with guitars until the sax kicks in to send the song in a jazzy direction. Blackstar makes you realise with a shock that Bowie too is now a dark, evasive star – but one that…

Logical (figures) People with good logical intelligence probably get good marks for maths at school. They’re interested in science and how things work. These people often have a specific way of doing things and can even become obsessive about them. If others can’t see their point, they easily become frustrated. They’re often well organised and precise. They like making lists and enjoy jigsaw puzzles. They often prefer to work on their own. Interpersonal (people) Those with high interpersonal intelligence get on well with others, whether younger, older or part of their own peer group. They’re good listeners, have patience and are the peacemaker in their group of friends. The feelings of others are important to them and they usually have many good friends. They also often enjoy working in a…

FAME, writes the American author Erica Jong, “simply means millions of people have the wrong idea of who you are.” DiCaprio doesn’t go in for small talk. He’s serious, imposing even It’s the day of the Bafta screening of Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant – a brutally beautiful tale of survival and revenge set in the wilds of the 19th-century American frontier – and several rooms in Claridge’s hotel in London are filled with print and television journalists, each with their own notion of who Leonardo DiCaprio is. Many have flown in from all over the world to be here; most haven’t touched the immaculate sandwiches on silver platters that have been laid on to ease the hushed anxiety of their wait. There are a handful of certainties about Leo…

Lionel Mapoe & Clarrisa ManaÇas Life is going to get busy for Springbok centre LIONEL MAPOE (27) now he’s back in SA after completing his stint with Japanese Rugby League team Kubota Spears. He and girlfriend CLARRISA MANAÇAS will welcome a baby girl in March. “I can’t explain what I’m feeling” the Lions rugby player tells us. “It’s just amazing that we’re being blessed with a little princess. I can’t wait to meet her.” The couple have been together for more than four years and Clarrisa (29) is excited about the prospect of motherhood. “As a first-time mother I guess it’s expected of me to be nervous but I’m really not” she says. “I’m 100 percent ready! I think I might just miss being pregnant – I love it!” Lionel…

MY SON’S DEPRESSION AFTER matric my precious, highly intelligent, now 26-year-old son couldn’t complete any courses. He would lock himself in his room, read and play computer games day and night. I tried to get him to socialise or get a job and finally told him to leave home, sent him to another town and enrolled him in yet another course, but the pattern persisted. Recently he broke down and apologised for letting me down and for seeming selfish, ungrateful and lazy, and thanked me for all I’d done for him. He confessed he’d been hiding a terrible, debilitating depression that seemed to be getting worse. He can’t raise himself anymore to do the things he loved to do. He can’t sleep or even get out of bed sometimes, is…

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‘I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best’ – MARILYN MONROE TWO GIRLFRIENDS – HOW DO I CHOOSE? Q For the past eight months I’ve been dating two women. They don’t know about each other. I really like both of them and I want to choose one of them but I can’t decide who to pick. The difference is that with the one I go out a lot and we often have sex whereas the other one lives around the corner and we spend more time at the park together. One of my two girlfriends has access to…

LONG ROAD TO STARDOM Born the eldest of four siblings in Kenosha, Wisconsin in the US, to hairdresser mom Marie Rose and painter dad Frank, Mark (48) caught the acting bug early. “I was probably eight. My mom let me stay up one night; she’s like, ‘You have to see this movie’ It was A Streetcar Named Desire. I saw Marlon Brando and I was like, ‘Oh my God.’ That’s where it started” But success took a while and Mark did theatre work while bartending before landing his breakout role in the Oscar-nominated drama You Can Count On Me (2000) at the age of 32. He sees himself as a character actor but hit the big time with the 2012 blockbuster The Avengers, in which he played The Hulk. He…

The American rapper’s seventh album is due to drop on 11 February. Here’s what you need to know about this hot hitmaker. 1 The new album was initially titled So Help Me God then Swish but is now called Waves. 2 Actor Seth Rogen says Kanye invited him and his wife, actress Lauren Miller, into a limo to listen to new tracks. He didn’t play the full tracks but rapped over instrumental versions for two hours. Kanye also tested his 2010 album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, on food delivery men who dropped by his studio in Hawaii. 3 Kanye (38) started out as a producer for Roc-A-Fella Records in the early 2000s, delivering hit singles for the likes of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys before pursuing a solo career. 4…

AQUARIUS 21 JANUARY – 18 FEBRUARY Don’t hold back if you have a brainwave Networking Mercury moves into your sign, right up the street of an Aquarius who wants to promote their latest brainwave or canvas for a humanitarian cause. You’ll feel quite at home as part of the group, therefore surround yourself with people and guard against any form of isolation. As it is, with pleasure-seeking Venus joining the ranks, the scene is set for a week of socialising. Someone might even cause a flutter of the heart. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 13, 25, 24, 5, 33, 39 PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20 Interactive group activities and hanging out with friends might have kept you quite occupied during the last few weeks. Should you feel overwhelmed this is a…

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Come to experience • A life-size 15-m long Mir space station core model • A model of Sputnik 1, Earth’s first artificial satellite • A model of the Apollo capsule • A lunar rover model • A shuttle cockpit and 55 other space attractions PLUS Touch a moon rock! OTHER ATTRACTIONS • Experience the original Multi-Axis Trainer* • Four original spacesuits • A model of the Orion capsule designed for future Mars missions • Models of space toilets • Real space food * EXCLUDED FROM ENTRY PRICE. WEIGHT, HEIGHT AND SHOE REQUIREMENTS APPLY. SEE WEBSITE FOR MORE INFO. TICKET PRICES Single tickets • R120 for children (1½-18 years) • R180 for adults Family package • R520 for family of four School packages available with tour guides Email space@megatrav.co.za…

WHAT makes a perfect gentleman? If you thought it just meant putting down the toilet seat and being willing to open doors for women, you’re hopelessly out of touch. Being a gentleman is a much more complicated business than it used to be. English gentleman’s bible Country Life magazine recently published a list of 39 key skills every modern man should have – and they make for fascinating reading because they show how much times have changed. These days it’s not enough to know how to knot a bow tie or ride a horse. To qualify as a true gentleman a man should know when it’s appropriate to use an emoji (definitely not in business correspondence), have read the Jane Austen novel Pride And Prejudice (not just watched the movie),…

BEYONCÉ (32) sure ain’t doing anything to stop those pesky pregnancy rumours! In fact she seems to be encouraging them if her latest actions are anything to go by. The singer, who’s yet to comment on the rumours, was seen wearing baggy clothes and holding her hand protectively over her stomach while shooting a new music video on top of a building in Los Angeles. Beyoncé, who already has four-year-old daughter Blue Ivy with hubby Jay-Z, also opted out of doing any stunt work, leaving it to a body double. Insiders say she also complained about being tired and nauseous, typical pregnancy symptoms. Watch this space!…