Being Hans Klapp, my mind often tends to operate using Volkswagen terminology. The Curse of Klapp, I used to call it, until somebody pointed out that could be completely misconstrued as something else. So if somebody mentions, for example, L20B, L69N, L10A, L96E or L13A to me - and, trust me, such bizarre conversations happen far more often than you might expect - then I don’t have to check a book to know that they represent Bright Orange, Viper Green Metallic, Rally Yellow, Gemini Metallic and Dakota Beige paint shades. Dakota Beige is an eminently sensible hue of which I completely approve, of course, but the others were among some of the most flamboyant VW hues ever, dreamt up during the 1970s when good taste was taking a nap. Although…