Maybe one reason I do not wear makeup is to scare people.If they’re close enough, they can see something is different with me, something unnerving, as if I have no features, I am embryonic, pre-eyebrows, pre-eyelids, pre-mouth, I am like a water-bear talking to them, or an amniotic traveller, a vitreous floater on their own eyeball, human ectoplasm risen on its hind legs to discourse with them.And such a white white girl, such a sickly toadstool, so pale, a visage of fog, a phiz ofmist above a graveyard, no magenta roses, no floral tribute, no goddess, no grownupwoman, no acknowledgmentof the drama of secondary sexual characteristics, just thegray matter of spirit talking, the thin features of a gray girl in a gray graveyard—granite, ash, chalk, dust.I tried the paint, but…