TV1 (above the treadmills), “The News” (NEWS): Get your heart rate up with some of the most horrifying developments from around the world. Feel like running as fast as you can yet? No? Well, the anchors are about to sit down with another “dapper” member of the alt-right to discuss fidget spinners, memes, and, if there’s time, race relations. Go!
TV2 (above the recumbent bikes), “Singing Competition” (MUSIC): Amateurs from all over the country compete to become America’s next big recording artist by singing, presumably. It’s kind of hard to tell with the sound off. And, honestly, the closed captioning just makes things more confusing.
TV3, TV5, TV6, TV8, TV9, TV10, TV13, TV15, TV18, TV19, TV20 (simulcast), “Just a Black Screen” (MYSTERY): Are these TVs broken or are they just turned…
