Innholdsfortegnelse for May 2016 i Surfing World Magazine

The Australian Brushturkey, aka: boiled cranium horribilus. A more unfortunate looking idiot you will struggle to find. Populating the entire NSW East Coast these Satan’s Chooks have been the subject of numerous scientific studies all of which have concluded their existence is for one reason only… to strewn the contents of any bag left unguarded over the widest possible square mileage before making off with your car keys to bury in their giant rubbish heap bush nests ruining what would have otherwise been a perfectly pleasant day at the beach. Basically, they’re fun wreckers and to make matters worse, they don’t even taste that good. They’re useless clowns the lot of them. But what have these tuck shop scabs of the bird world got to do with the SW Grombash?…

LIZARD MIND 2023 © Tight, squeeeezing sensations, and suddenly I’m everyone. I’m Greenough, Ford Archbold, Sonic the Hedgehog and Ghandi doing rocket yoga spiralling through rainbow light-years weeeeeeeeeeeee (vinyasa) SLAP! SMANG! PLAT! Potent as a bomb. What-the-hell-was-that-lizard?! Rrrrrrrrridddgeyyyyyyy. And bang. My back hit the sand (sand?) and the ride was seemingly done (undone). You don’t mess with another monkey’s monkey unless you’re King-Kong, apparently. ...rrrrrrrr ...vvvvvvrrrrrrrrrmmmm cough cough cough Sand in my ears? Sand in my mouth? Sand in the sand in my ears and my mouth. Last thing I remember was the lizard. Yuck. Next thing I know I’m looking THROUGH-MY-OWN-LEGS at this silver and milk kee-lime waterwall globetrotting and breaking like wine glass across a foot of empty oil-light water like an oil-light painting in my oil-light fantasy…

“At 22 the doctor sat me down and said, ‘You shouldn’t be going in the water any more, point blank,’” says Danny Clayton as she pulls on a black and white Salt Gypsy surf shirt. It’s a golden summer afternoon in Byron Bay, the heat is finally giving way as the sun descends and the bay is clean, aqua, and abounds with gently peeling wavelets. Kiwi-born Danny slathers up with sunscreen, protecting her skin, while knowing that the more intimate danger is the possibility that her heart might just stop ticking at any given moment due to a rare hereditary heart condition known as prolonged QT syndrome. Hearts are electrical entities. Our heartbeat begins with an electrical impulse in a bundle of special cells, called pacemaker cells, that magically produce…

If there’s only one thing human beings need more than oxygen, food and water to survive on this slowly melting planet then it has got to be a Dead Rock ’n’ Roller Tribute Tipi . I can’t remember why I bothered to get out of bed in the mornings before I erected my one in the front yard. Even my neighbours have rediscovered their lust for life just by peering over the fence at it. Joel Fitz, who lives in my backyard, wanted to put his shaping bay inside it and have an opening night party. In the end I had to say no because the Dead Rock ’n’ Roller Tribute Tipi is for me to run and hide in whenever the government men’s spy satellites and surveillance drones…

The phone rings for a long time before RCJ’s sleepy voice answers. “Hello?” I explain that I’m ringing from SW to talk about the Eddie. I remind him that he’d told me to ring anytime I like. He starts to warm up immediately: “I just came from Hawaii and went to LA then went and surfed Cortez and now I’m in San Fran for a little bit then tomorrow morning I’m going up to Lake Tahoe to go snowboarding… So much fun, I mean I’m completely burning myself dry, and I’ve got the flu, like, heavy, but I’m blazing through it all. You know the worst bit? The cops got me tearing back from Cortez in that spot they call the Devil’s Gap – you know the Devil’s Gap? Well…

My first meeting with Reg Mombassa was at a free drinks kind of gig in an art space in Auckland, NZ. Reg and his band Dog Trumpet played, and it was pretty good as I remember. I must have realised at some point that the man with the long grey hair playing guitar was the famous artist Reg Mombassa, a personality I knew little about other than that he was a national icon of either NZ or Australia, or maybe both, and that I was distantly related to him. Bubbling with this wealth of knowledge, and a fair bit of free Dutch courage, I decided I owed it to him to introduce myself. I found my opportunity outside as the band carted their gear. ME: Hey Reg, it’s me Nanda,…

“SURFING IS SO MUCH MORE THAN MARKET APPEAL OR BEING A WINNER.” Wayne Lynch SHARKS – It’s part of life, part of surfing. Ever since I was a kid we had to get out of the water from time to time. It’s very strange to me because people don’t seem to realise what the ocean really is. They take it for granted. People do some pretty silly things in regards to putting themselves at risk. Paddling across rivers that are in flood. Surf schools with little kids in rivers when it’s brown and fully in flood. I’ve seen dogs out behind the whitewater. People thinking it’s all cool and I’m looking at it going, “That’s ridiculous, it’s going to bring a shark in and it’s going to go for the…

BEN STARKY – O’NEILL WETSUIT GURU Santa Cruz, California is the birthplace of O’Neill and modern cold water surfing. It’s the proving ground for materials, features and benefits that keep you in the water longer. After 60 years of countless industry firsts, O’Neill’s commitment to leading innovation continues stronger than ever. It’s where it all starts and finishes, in the super cold kelpy water of Santa Cruz, and if it works there, it’s going to work everywhere. The new O’Neill Psycho Freak is our top-end suit this winter and it’s key innovation is a new water wicking lining that enhances heat retention. If you think from an outerwear mountaineering kind of philosophy in the back country of the snow, you’ve always got a base layer, a light, down layer, that…

Tom Carroll X2 World Champion Be honest. Be frightened. Step up. Lean forward into the drop. The personal story as a result will help define your character. Shane Dorian Big wave hunter Shout the first two rounds that afternoon. Rob Machado Pipe Master, Drifter Paddle out... It happened to me so many times when I was younger. Somehow I always survived and I thank my friends for making me go out. Wayne Lynch Evolutionary Sit back and watch and enjoy it. Or find a place that you feel comfortable with and go out there. Simon Anderson Pipe Master, Photographer Study the line up carefully and if there are some waves you can handle or some position in the line up you can fill then go, otherwise do not go out.…

Bitchin’ cover… David Nuuhiwa at Rocky Point by Dan Merkel Cool story… The Ranch by Dale Herd Greenough (George) in his black and white ex-CHP (California Highway Patrol) Dodge roars into the Ranch on what he calls a “crappy” day – it’s howling offshore and anywhere from four to six foot. GG duck waddles down to the water, slips in and paddles out for the peak, then JAMS! Out of the fourteen waves he rides he is tubed on 11, making all but three – MR INSIDE! Happenin’ interview… Shane Stedman by Geoff Luton SW: Would you say that surfing in Australia reached a peak that it has been falling down from ever since? SS: It certainly reached a peak as far as surfboard production was concerned. I think that…

I love plastic! I fucken love plastic man! The way it tastes when I drink from a bottle of warm water that’s been sitting in the sun on the beach while I’ve been surfing, the way it lines the shore with all those muted tones of synthetic blue, green, red and yellow! I love it! Have you ever heard anyone say they love plastic? No... me neither. Then why don’t we stop extracting more resources to create it, honour all the plastic we have already made by re-using it, then graduate out of this strange plasticised period? Our fascination with it is surely at an end; the older surfers in our clan remember the time before plastic, the world still spun, food tasted good, and somehow we still had enough…

As a naive politico-pup germinating in flower generation pop, the chance to bloom views in hard-copy often created Little House of Horrors push-back way more confronting than today’s five second social media rap-on-the-knuckles. And so it was with “I’ll never visit South Africa because of apartheid”. Which of course led to Ernie Tomson and Peter Burnett bailing me up in Hawaii with an invitation to Durban for the 500. So, there I was sitting with Ernie and Ev over a bottle of Chivas, regaled and entranced with African stories. And with the political Africa, the wild Africa of legends, hard-scrabble and mystery underlined by memories from high school Doyle (pre-Wilbur and Bryce). My “boy’s own” had begun and was soon entrenched with a week at Jeffreys, where everything…

You can phone yourself as a 10 year old and offer yourself one piece of advice. What is it? Make the same mistakes again you dysfunctional simpleton. NASA is sending Voyer 3 into deep space and you’ve been asked to provide one Australian album that aliens can listen too if they happen to come across the satellite. Which do you choose? The Loved Ones Magic Box. You can be any surfer, riding any wave, from any session in history… Who are you, where and when? I don’t know enough about surfing to speculate about such matters (I only ever surfed very poorly for a few months in 1967). You’re the editor of the New York Times. What’s tomorrow’s headline? President Trump announces the United States has declared war on itself.…