Innholdsfortegnelse for January 15-28, 2024 i New York Magazine

1 For New York’s latest cover story, “Jordan Neely Was Here” (January 1–14), Lisa Miller chronicled the life of a man whose strangling on the subway shocked the city. WNYC’s Brigid Bergin thanked Miller “for sharing Jordan Neely’s story with nuance and complexity.” “Whatever you think you know about #Jordan-Neely, whatever opinion you have, @lisax-miller did the work putting the story together,” said author Chris Lombardi. On Instagram, jencourtjan called it “a powerful piece—such a detailed account of how mental illness (and homelessness and drug use, etc.) can be triggered and devolve over time until one day you wake up and it’s all come undone … No matter what your stance is on what happened on the train, this article is a heartbreaking reminder that all of the people we…

UNLESS YOU live in Brooklyn or San Francisco (and even if you do), chances are you’re meeting people on the apps. Many default to Feeld, the non-monogamy and kink-friendly dating app, but you could do just as well somewhere like Hinge, matching only with others who label themselves non-monogamous. If you and your partner are dating separately, you might consider acting as each other’s wingman. After Toni opened her marriage, she found that she was having trouble meeting women. “I joined several apps, and nothing was really happening for me,” she says. Her husband, Tom, started matching with people he could potentially set her up with on Feeld. To one woman, Clarissa, he wrote, ‘Hey, my wife would love to speak with you separately without me, are you okay if…

IF YOU’RE NOT in a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation, you may find yourself getting to know your partner’s partners, otherwise known as your metamours. Don’t think of them as rivals. When it comes to her husband’s girlfriends, Ali goes out of her way to avoid acting territorial. “I’m not in competition with these women. It’s not like, I’m more important because I am his wife. I am here to make sure that their needs are being met as well as mine,” she says. In the past, she’s given her phone number to new people her husband is dating in case they’re feeling unsure about him and want to talk. She’ll also intervene to make sure her husband is being a good boyfriend.“He has a girlfriend that he’s been with…

KATIE COYNE, the environmental officer for the city of Austin, suggests being casual about it. I’M MARRIED, and we’ve been poly for about two years. I have a public-facing job. It’s really important for me to feel like I’m not hiding anything about myself or hiding people who are important to me. I have it sort of worked out now. With people I’m closer with, I’ll just slide it in casually. For instance, when I was dating someone who has kids, I was going to soccer games and doing some part-time co-parenting. So at a happy hour with my staff, when someone asked what I was doing over the weekend, I said, “I’m going to my partner’s kid’s soccer game.” He was like, “Oh, I didn’t know you and your…

BEST OF NEW YORK For Navigating Cramped Staircases MISCHA RADENOVIC; 646-535-3020 → SINCE 2018, Mischa Radenovic has been using his Mercedes Sprinter van to do everything from full apartment moves to small furniture pickups from Ikea. He’ll pick up and drop off anywhere in the five boroughs—and even makes the occasional trip out to New Jersey and Connecticut. Over the past two years, start-up investor Megan Barraford has had Radenovic move a bed and a Steinway piano, among other things. “He has been such a gem,” says Barraford, who has referred him to her housekeeper, her father, and multiple friends. Barraford trusts him so completely that he often picks up and delivers furniture purchases while Barraford isn’t home, including when she was on vacation in Japan recently. No matter what…

FOOD CAFÉ? IF YOU SAY SO. Andrew Carmellini’s latest—his first restaurant to open, his people say with terrific gravitas, under his own name—is to the usual café as caviar is to chicken eggs. It’s housed in the new five-star Fifth Avenue Hotel, a McKim, Mead & White mansion originally erected as a Gilded Age bank. I have never seen a maître d’ so eagerly leap to hold back a tablecloth lest a scrap of cotton worry my delicate legs. Show up five minutes early to your reservation and you can watch staffers with wireless irons attack every wayward wrinkle. The room is decorated in high-gilt style: The banquettes are blue velvet, and two Art Nouveau peacocks etched in glass preside over the bar. Tables can be booked on the wraparound…

BETTINA / VENITA BLACKBURN / THE GOLDEN GLOBES / CRITICS / TO DO IT’S JUST AFTER 2 p.m. in Ladbroke Grove, a West London neighborhood still holding to its fading memory as England’s Haight-Ashbury. Tems is reclining in a chair she has been sitting in for the better part of two days ahead of the holidays, fiddling on Ableton with a languorous track called “Not an Angel” that she thinks, finally, after several months, she has figured out. She is in the last stages of completing her debut album and has been intermittently napping here in her studio, instead of sleeping in her own perfectly good bed, returning home merely to take showers, drink some celery juice, and change her clothes. “I would say that I definitely deal with symptoms…

YOU CAN RELY ON the first major awards stop of the season for a few things: celebrity glamour, celebrity drunkenness, and backstage drama. On January 7, the Golden Globes returned, and for the first time in nearly 80 years they were not awarded by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association—the group dissolved in June amid a barrage of controversy, including the revelation in 2021 that it had zero Black members. In 2022, the Globes were booted from TV; when NBC screened them in 2023, they received abysmal ratings. But now the awards have new owners (Eldridge Industries and Dick Clark Productions), a new voting body, and a home on CBS. While comedian host Jo Koy bombed onstage, blaming his writers for his gaffes, we sent photographer Lucas Michael backstage to capture…

I HAVE HEARD PEOPLE say smell is the sense most attached to memory, but for me it is always language, if language can be thought of as a sense, which of course it can be. Compared to even the dullest dog humans can smell nothing. But compare us with—what?—a monkey who can say “apple” with her hands?—and we are the gods of language, everything else just chirping and burping. And how fitting, too, that our superpower as a species, the source of our divinity, stems from such a broken invention. ¶ It was invented, of course, language. The first baby didn’t come out speaking Farsi or Arabic or English or anything. We invented it, this language where one man is called Iraqi and one man is called Iranian and so…

THERE ARE SO MANY ways this conversation could go wrong. So we asked three couples who handled it well—and one who might have handled it better—to tell us how they first proposed it. Julia told Matt she had a crush. AGES: 41 AND 39 OPEN FOR: SLIGHTLY MORE THAN A YEAR JULIA: After we had our child, I went through a few years of lacking sexual interest. It got to the point where it felt like I might never be interested in having sex again and that would be fine. That began to change in May 2022. I started having a crush on someone. I didn’t know if I was even going to tell Matt, but I didn’t want to repress this part of myself. And I didn’t want to…

SOME COUPLES who date separately follow a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy—this can work well for those who like a little secrecy or just don’t want to talk about everything. But more often, couples like to share at least some details about how their respective love lives are going. Some ways to make those conversations less fraught. Don’t debrief immediately. “When we get home from a date with somebody else, that’s not the time to talk about it,” says Ethan, who opened his marriage three years ago. In that moment, he says, the most important thing is to reassure your partner: “Hey, I came home to you, and I want to be with you.” He adds, “Then, after some time has gone by, you can say, ‘How did the date…

YOU MIGHT BE thinking at this point, I have a job, and a partner, and friends, and hobbies. How in the world am I going to make time for dating, and then talking about dating, on top of all of that? Some non-monogamous couples keep shared Google calendars or reserve one night a week for each other. Julia, who is in an open marriage with her husband, Matt, breaks down how they manage their week-to-week and what she’s had to give up to make room. MATT AND I HAVE an agreement about how much time we can spend with another person weekly. Spending a whole evening out once a week, either Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, is totally fine; usually, it’s after we have dinner with our young child, so…

MORE PEOPLE means more interpersonal dynamics—double or triple the giddiness, maybe, but also double or triple the jealousy, anxiety, abandonment, and painful breakups. The hierarchy might shift. For the first five years of our open relationship, Eva and I were each other’s primary relationship. Any outside relationships never got super-serious. I was under the impression that that would always be the case. Then, two years ago, Eva met this other person and they fell in love. She started spending more nights at his house, and the relationship developed to a stage where Eva was very emotionally involved. Now her other boyfriend and I are on an equal footing in terms of the importance in the relationship. We celebrated her birthday together this year. —Tomas YOU MIGHT BECOME A THIRD WHEEL.…

A DOG TECHNICALLY HAS a built-in jacket (fur), but sometimes it’s not enough. In cold winter weather and on wet rainy days, dogs, like humans, need a coat. And Strategist writer Brenley Goertzen kept hearing about Finnish company Hurtta from stylish pet owners. Coats for dogs should be lined and water repellent, but most crucially, they must fit well. “Hurtta has the most inclusive sizing, plus everything is adjustable,” says Nicole Sciria, owner of a rescue named Benny. Ally Steeves owns a Boston terrier, a beagle mix, and a Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix, and she swears by the Hurtta Expedition Parka(from $81) for all three. Meanwhile, Goertzen tested it on her 50-pound Australian shepherd, Shea, and confirms it fits like a glove. She says the handy hind-leg straps hold the backside…

JOHN CRIMBER Professional bull rider, Decatur, Texas Didn’t I see you on the news the other night? Yes. You’re the 18-year-old rider everyone’s excited about. Yes, ma’am. How long have you been riding? My whole life. I started with sheep and then when I was 6 years old I started riding bulls. What’s the biggest event you’ve ever done? This one. Madison Square Garden is the biggest one I’ve been to. Yes, ma’am. And what do you most enjoy about it?It’s an unexplainable feeling, that’s for dang sure. THE LOOK BOOK: BULL RIDERS Who are you coaching? A new team that’ll be based out of New York. Our home event will be in Brooklyn. This is all brand-new. You’re one of the few that knows what’s going on. We’re building…

IN 2017, Simon Kim synthesized two great national genres—the American steakhouse and Korean BBQ—into the moneymaking, crowd-pleasing chimera called Cote, which has since expanded to Miami and will soon be in Singapore. At Coqodaq (12 E. 22nd St., nr. Broadway; coqodaq.com), Kim and architect David Rockwell have built a room dedicated to the veneration of poultry: A series of luminescent arches forms a nave under which two banks of booths scallop out with walls covered in subtly textured golden panels. “We wanted to create a cathedral of fried chicken,” Kim says. The birds are served in ceramic buckets that sit atop literal pedestals. Korean fried chicken is known for its thin, crystalline crust. Coqodaq’s chef, Seung Kyu “SK” Kim, coats pieces in rice flour and fries them in oil made from…

THE BEST EXHIBITION in New York consists of 50-year-old works that have hardly ever been seen by anyone: sculpture and photography by the mysterious, and glamorously mononymous, Bettina. “New York: 1965–86,” now on view at Ulrik, is the first solo presentation of the late artist’s work in this city since 1980. It’s a concise selection from an estate very nearly lost to oblivion; at various points, parts of her archive were thrown into, then rescued from, the trash. The photography series “Phenomenological New York” (1970s–1980s) takes the city as subject, offering constellated lines, warped streetscapes, and architectural surfaces. Rendered in a soft palette of browns and yellows, her gridded works are reminiscent of the establishing montages of ’70s and ’80s movies, in which crowds of commuters navigate traffic and public…

If you live in New York, it’s very possible you’ve recently found yourself chatting with a co-worker, or listening to the table next to you at a restaurant, and heard some variation of “They just opened up, and they’re so much happier.” Or “My partner’s partner truly sucks.” Ethical non-monogamy isn’t new (The Ethical Slut, the polyamorous bible, came out in 1997), and it isn’t exactly mainstream, but it isn’t so fringe either (or reserved for those who live in the Bay Area). A curious person might be tempted to download Feeld or let their partner know over salmon they’re ready to let in a third. But though people don’t talk about it in hushed tones anymore—Riverdale just ended with Archie, Betty, Jughead, and Veronica in a quad, after all—it…

When couples start being non-monogamous,there are, in general, two kinds of rules they tend to set. The first is about the structure of the arrangement.Are you seeing new people as a duo, or is it okay to pursue an outside relationship on your own? Are you remaining each other’s primary partners, or are you eliminating the hierarchy entirely? Breaking these kinds of rules can feel like a violation or at least require serious negotiation. A few years ago, Alice and her husband opened their marriage. They knew they wanted to date together and had started seeing another couple but hadn’t set firm rules. One day, the four of them were together at a food festival in Brooklyn. “I had to go off somewhere, and the other husband had to go…

IF YOU’RE a couple on a date with another couple, there are things to consider that you don’t have to think about as a single on a date with another single. “We’ve been a lot of couples’ first dates after they’ve opened up their relationship,” says Amelia, who frequently dates other couples with her husband, Chris. Below, the two share some advice. AMELIA: We’ve been together eight years, and it’s exciting to see that charming first-date persona anew in your partner. CHRIS: But we often notice that other couples seem unsure of what they want out of the situation. We will say, “What are you guys hoping for?” And they’ll say, “We never really talked about it.” So we’re often putting the brakes on. People will want to go out…

SOME POLY PEOPLE prefer not to tell every single person in their lives—it simply seems unnecessary, or they don’t feel like explaining or receiving judgment. Others find it more challenging, logistically and emotionally, to keep it private. (What if someone spots you out and thinks you’re cheating? Or you need to tell work you’re leaving early to pick up your partner’s child?) Writer Molly Roden Winter explains how she navigated talking to her children about her and her husband’s open marriage. MY HUSBAND AND I never planned to tell our children about our open marriage. But seven years after we took our first fumbling steps toward non-monogamy, I got off a plane to find a series of text messages from my then-13-year-old son, Daniel. “Mom,” he wrote, “are you and…

CELEBRITY SHOPPING Chanel Le Rouge Duo Ultra Tenue Ultra Wear Liquid Lip Color, $45 “I started using this many, many—I can’t tell you how many—years ago because it didn’t come off on the microphone by the time I’d finished singing. I do a couple of different shades. I used to be a little bolder onstage, a little redder, but I softened it to the soft rose for daily wear.” Aletha the Mark, $199 “I’m constantly sitting in a car, on a plane, or on set, so I need anything that opens up my lower back. Funny enough, this little hook that you put in the front of your hip relieves all the pressure on your lower back. I throw this in my bag everywhere I go and lie on it…

SOMEHOW, the act of eating fruits, vegetables, and grains has become aspirational: whitewashed, Goop-ready, “plant based.” Nil Zacharias thinks vegan food should be accessible to everyone. In 2020, he launched Plantega as a pilot program at three bodegas in the Bronx and Brooklyn with a small menu of four animal-free deli sandwiches. Quickly, Zacharias was able to expand the offerings: 14 sandwiches, subs, and burritos, including a BEC with seaweed-based bacon and a chopped cheese made from Karana-brand jackfruit burgers. (Prices are a few dollars higher than non-vegan items.) Now, it’s in 60-plus locations across the five boroughs and Yonkers. The model works a bit like Boar’s Head without the cold cuts: Plantega provides the products, the advertising, and the training. “It’s sort of a no-brainer for us,” says Hamza…

IN 2008, Venita Blackburn’s mother died unexpectedly—and at first, one of Blackburn’s brothers refused to tell his daughter, for whom their mother had been an important maternal figure. Whenever anyone suggested he break the news, he would deflect and evade. His way of handling the death shattered his sister. But it also fascinated her. “I know why he did it: You don’t want them to feel what you feel right now,” she says. “And if you can keep it from them, you can keep it from yourself.” For Blackburn, loss is a pet subject. She’s a writer with a penchant for the sort of tales that kill the mood at a dinner party, edged with wit and pared down to the bones—her primary form is flash fiction, or very short…

For more culture coverage and streaming recommendations, see vulture.com. TV 1. Watch Feud: Capote vs. the Swans Testing Truman’s sangfroid. FX, January 31. Truman Capote is famous for In Cold Blood but also for blowing up his career by writing barely veiled fiction about the New York socialites he called his besties. This anthology series’ second season digs into what happened when some of those well-heeled women sought revenge. Cast includes Naomi Watts as Babe Paley, Diane Lane as Slim Keith, Chloë Sevigny as C.Z. Guest, and Demi Moore as Ann Woodward. JEN CHANEY THEATER 2. See Oh, Mary! An address from Mrs. Lincoln. Lucille Lortel Theatre, previews begin January 26. Already a New York treasure for ever-idiosyncratic comedy and cabaret work, Cole Escola debuts Off Broadway in a play…