Innholdsfortegnelse for June 2014 i Men's Health

5 THU Superstar Tim McGraw—singer, actor, lucky husband of Faith Hill—headlines Nashville’s CMA Music Festival. And he’s on our July/August cover, on sale June 24. Like to meet him? Truck yeah! Go to MensHealth.com/McGraw and enter to win. 15 SUN All your dad really needs on Father’s Day is a visit or a call. But a handwritten note would be best. The shock may induce a cardiac event, but he’d go out smiling. Or play it safe with a gift: Go to MensHealth.com/fathersday for ideas. 20 FRI Someone on the Web claims this is Take Your Dog to Work Day. We suspect a canine hacker. If you can get away with it, go ahead—women will love that (and maybe you too). No dog? Quick—go to page 18 and pick one.…

For years men have chased workouts with protein shakes, hoping to take advantage of the “anabolic window”—the time when your body is primed to build muscle. Now a major new meta-analysis shatters that science. Its coauthor: Alan Aragon, M.S. “The critical factor for muscle strength and size is your total daily protein intake.” He advises men to eat 0.7 to 1 gram of complete protein—which has all nine essential amino acids and is found in meat, poultry, fish, milk, and eggs—for every pound of their target weight. “Include at least 20 grams of protein at every meal and snack,” he says. “That ensures your muscles have the optimal amounts of critical amino acids, like leucine.” Plan Meals for Muscle “I aim for 180 grams of protein a day and eat…

THERE ARE A LOT OF SIGHTS TO SEE IN MEMPHIS—GRACELAND, Beale Street, Sun Studio—but you won’t find Chiseled Citizens on any itinerary. The city ranked last in flex appeal, which is a long way down from the summit of sculpted, a.k.a. Denver. While the Mile High City boasts one of the highest percentages of people who weight-train, folks in Memphis are more likely to pick up a fork than a dumbbell. “The comfort food that is served is often a way of helping people cope with life’s challenges,” says Marian Levy, Dr.P.H., R.D., assistant dean of the School of Public Health at the University of Memphis. “Plus, the ‘ripped’ lifestyle is not a cultural phenomenon here.”—GILLIAN FRANCELLA Buff Bodies…

Weight Loss START AT THE BOTTOM To whittle your middle, grow tree trunks for legs. Muscular legs can help you fend off belly fat, according to a study from Japan. People with the most muscle mass on their legs had the least visceral fat—the dangerous kind that surrounds organs. Compared with smaller muscles, your leg muscles burn more fat before it can deposit around your organs, explains study author Michio Shimabukuro, M.D., Ph.D. Find some leg-building exercise options at MensHealth.com/workout-center (select the “quads” link). A ZEN WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT If you want to eat less, try an exercise—of the mind. A study from the Netherlands reports that a brief meditation may help you control your appetite. Hungry people ate fewer cookies after a 14-minute “body scan,” during which they…

A BICYCLE ISN’T AN ALL-PURPOSE TOOL. IT’S A precision instrument designed to conquer a particular type of terrain. “Often people want to buy one bike to do everything well,” says Zac Daab, owner of Cascade Bicycle Studio in Seattle. “Generally what they end up with is something that doesn’t do anything well.” So before you blow your cash on another set of worthless wheels, ask yourself: Do you prefer to bomb the backwoods, rack up the road miles, or crush your daily commute? By choosing a bike with a specific purpose in mind and then developing the skills, you’ll stay motivated. Plus, you’ll finally put that fuel tank on your belly to good use—by burning it off as you build strength. 1 MOUNTAIN BIKING “There’s no better way to enjoy…

Attention is better than necklaces. “Women across the world would throw stones at me if I didn’t say beautiful jewelry might be just the right thing for some. But you have to know who you’re with. For me, time and effort mean more than anything. My fiancé [Dwyane Wade of Miami Heat fame] doesn’t leave the house or go to sleep at night without telling me he loves me. Even in the middle of the season he finds time to cuddle up with me, if only for a couple of minutes.” Seriously—put the damn seat down. “Falling into the toilet in the middle of the night? Not cute. When your ass hits cold water and you’re half asleep, you’re just mad. There’s nothing okay about it.” We want you to…

Most are yawners. But yours don’t have to be—follow the tips from the pros to truly tap the power of the group. Think hard before you start herding people around conference tables. According to a 2014 Salary.com survey, meetings rank just behind Web browsing as the biggest office time suck. “If you meet with five people for an hour, you’ve committed five hours of productive company time,” says Bruce Tulgan, author of It’s Okay to Manage Your Boss. So make efficiency your priority. It all begins with the questions on this page.—LILA BATTIS BUILD YOUR CORK STRENGTH Introducing the Men’s Health Wine Cellar. The first reader-sourced wine club from the experts at Men’s Health and Uncorked.com. Special monthly selection packs curated by Men’s Health readers Free shipping on monthly specials…

JOE, TULSA, OK Bless you, brother. I’ve seen plenty of jerks in my bar. And guess what? Everyone knows exactly who they are. They’re the guys sitting alone when I start pouring free drinks a few stools down. So just ignore your boss. You and the janitor both know he’s an ass, but unfortunately, sticking your neck out won’t help. Just keep being a nice guy, and the janitor—plus your colleagues—will notice. A friend told me he’s cheating on his girlfriend. I think it’s pathetic behavior. Do I tell him that? JASON, PORTSMOUTH, NH Not just yet. If you go all Dear Abby on him, he’ll think you’re judging him (which you are) and clam up. Instead, think about why he told you in the first place. Is he bragging?…

WHAT MAKES A SUCCESSFUL PARENT? I THOUGHT IT would be simple: I’d imagine what my parents might have done and do the opposite. It doesn’t work, but if you have kids, you know that. Parenting, I’ve found, is like that Kobayashi Maru test in Star Trek: a no-win situation that reveals your character more than it tests your intellect or tactical skills. You will screw up, and your mistakes will affect your kids in ways you can’t anticipate. But unlike the Star Trek simulation, which is rigged to destroy everyone, parenting allows do-overs. Not only can you learn from your own mistakes, but you can also learn from the collective fuck-uppery of every dad who’s ever lived. SCREWUP 1 You’re obsessed with getting your kid into Harvard. Drug use. Petty…

IT WAS THE SUMMER OF 1997, AND RANDY HETRICK, A U.S. NAVY SEAL TROOP commander, was deployed in Asia with the mission on hold. “The challenge is maintaining conditioning when you have no access to training facilities,” he says. So he started experimenting. Digging through his backpack, he discovered a jujitsu belt. By tying a knot at one end and throwing it over a door, he could use it to do a variation of a single-arm row. But he wanted more versatility, so he found some nylon webbing used for repairing parachute harnesses, and stitched a more elaborate training strap. It had a Y shape with handles that doubled as stirrups. Now Hetrick could do pullups, curls, core exercises, leg work—a seemingly endless array of moves. The SEAL team loved…

NONE OF THIS IS REAL. Still, as I enter the building through the open doorway, my body tenses and my eyes scan the room as quickly as possible. Is there danger in here? I move forward tentatively, my senses heightened in anticipation. Suddenly I see a figure in the shadows. My finger moves instantly, twitching for what seems like dozens of times as the rat-a-tat-tat explodes around my ears. I see a body slump. It’s the one I’ve been aiming at, and I feel a surge of satisfaction in my chest. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and though physically I’m perched on a chair in my basement with a smooth plastic Wii controller in my hand and a chunky 15-year-old TV on the table in front of me, mentally I’m in…

My Connecticut kitchen is my true north. It’s not fitted out with enormous professional appliances. (I learned long ago that a hot flame is a hot flame.) Its gray-green walls, white cabinets, and patterned countertop are more zen than anything else. When I’m alone, my kitchen becomes my workshop—where I not only assemble ingredients but make them as well. Homemade espresso-maple smoked bacon. Portuguese chouriço, which my father said through tears was as good as the kind he grew up eating in Portugal. Breakfast sausage; corned beef and pastrami; duck prosciutto; stocks and demi-glaces; homemade ketchups, mustards, and vinegars. Even my frigging compost is artisanal. It’s no different from eighth-grade shop class, I’ve come to realize. But instead of lathe chisels lining the wall, I have knives lining a drawer.…

A white-knuckled look at what makes a man’s heart race. 78% sexy Number of women who are turned on by scars that accompany high-octane tales 34% Number of men who’ve spent time in an ER paying the price of an adrenaline rush 38% Proportion of guys who admit that heights freak them out 4 in 5 Number who’d overcome that phobia if a woman dared them to skydive 1 in 2 Number of guys who’ve talked a woman into going skinnydipping 30% Portion who’d be fearless (or drunk) enough to strip down and streak 64 Percentage of men who’ve considered a Kilimanjaro summit attempt 12% Number of guys who’ve never ridden a roller coaster 3 Percentage who’ve ralphed after their dizzying adventure 33 Percentage who got back in line for…

WHEN MY YOUNGER DAUGHTER WAS 6, SHE WANTED TO PLAY BASKETBALL. WE SIGNED HER UP FOR an intramural team. Problem was, she wasn’t strong enough to reach the rim. She launched a few air balls her first couple of games. Soon, sad and broken, she quit shooting entirely. Fast-forward two months. As we were driving to the final game, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw her sulking. “You know what I want to see tonight?” I said. “I want to see you take a shot.” She scrunched her face. “I can’t reach the hoop. Basketball is stupid.” “Taylor, I don’t care if you hit the wall behind the basket,” I said. “You’ll never make it if you never shoot.” Another scrunchy face, then some tears. She was clearly…

LIFE’S QUESTONS, ANSWERED I know certain dog breeds are prone to health problems. So which are best? RYAN, WICHITA, KS With pets, nothing is fur sure. But good breeders screen dogs for congenital conditions. Jerold Bell, D.V.M., a clinical associate professor of genetics at Tufts University’s school of veterinary medicine, recommends visiting caninehealthinfo.org to find out which dogs need which tests. Still, DNA carries more than disease potential. See which breeds’ traits suit you, with help from Dr. Bell and Sandra Sawchuk, D.V.M., M.S., a clinical instructor at the University of Wisconsin at Madison School of Veterinary Medicine. YOUR NEW ROOMMATE An adopted Italian greyhound (from ngap.org) can make a great pal. YOU LIVE IN AN APARTMENT Greyhound A racing dog in an apartment? Yep—it’s a winner. These dogs are…

GO FOR A BEER RUN If you crack open a cold one after a half marathon or adventure race, choose carefully: Australian research suggests that low-alcohol beer with a pinch of salt added can help you rehydrate better than a boozier brew would. This works only if the beer is 3.5 percent alcohol by volume (ABV) or less; otherwise the benefit vanishes, says study author Ben Desbrow, Ph.D. Try Miller 64 or Budweiser’s Select 55, or mix your favorite with a nonalcoholic beer. A combo of Sam Adams Boston Lager and O’Doul’s, for instance, yields 2.7 percent ABV total. And don’t forget the salty pretzels!…

6 Percentage rise in your risk of metabolic syndrome (a precursor to diabetes) per hour you sit, averaged over a weekend Source: University of Tasmania A Better PSA Test Many doctors skip PSA testing for prostate cancer due to concerns about its accuracy. But researchers at Mercer University and Georgia Southern University may soon have a better option. Their test detects cancer based on the levels of three fats in a man’s blood. Prostate tumors increase these fats, but your diet doesn’t, according to study author Uddhav P. Kelavkar, Ph.D. The payoff: fewer false positives and false negatives. Pending more study, the test may help M.D.’s detect tumors and pick treatments. Nuke It Right or Puke Tonight If you hurry in the kitchen, you could hurl in the bathroom. Taking…

THIS MONTH’S EXPERT Kyle Bailey is the busy executive chef of four restaurants in Washington, D.C.: ChurchKey, GBD, Birch & Barley, and The Arsenal at Bluejacket. A Schedule a Rubdown Enhance the beefiness of flank steak with spices: In a small bowl, mix 4 tsp ground coriander, 4 tsp ground cumin, 2 tsp kosher salt, and 1 tsp freshly ground pepper. Use the tip of a knife to pierce holes in a 12-to 16-ounce flank steak so the rub can penetrate. Massage in the rub; then wrap the steak in plastic and refrigerate for at least two hours and up to eight hours. B Pimp Your Shrimp To protect shrimp from overcooking, you’ll need to baste. For the sauce, boil a medium pot of water, remove it from the heat,…

My fiancée wants implants. Personally, I find them tacky. Can I put in my two cents? JIM, FORT COLLINS, CO Sure! But also ponder her motivations. If she’s unhappy with her current assets, give your opinion but support her decision. If she thinks you’re unhappy with them, make it clear—through words and actions—that you think they’re awesome. Finally, consider this: Consciously or not, she may be craving attention from other men. If that’s true, think hard about whether she’s the right Mrs. Jim for you. My girlfriend’s good friend made a pass at me. Now what? RICK, WICHITA, KS Let’s do a risk assessment: If you tell your girlfriend, you create a serious rift in that socalled friendship. But if you don’t tell her and she finds out anyway, you…

Some projects swallow up a whole weekend. Others take less time than the trip to the hardware store. Have a few minutes to spare? Then use them to upgrade everything. THE MH HANDYMAN Carter Oosterhouse had his first carpentry gig at age 12; now he’s the host of HGTV’s Celebrity Motor Homes. His book, Carter’s Way, is out now. Silence a Creaky Door YOU NEED SPRAY LUBRICANT (SUCH AS WD-40), HAMMER, SCREWDRIVER, WIRE BRUSH Hit the offending hinge with a shot of WD-40; then open and close the door for 20 seconds to work it in. That may do the trick; if it doesn’t, pop the pin out of the hinge with a hammer and screwdriver. Brush off the gunk, lube the pin, and slide it back in. Install a…

Pull Off a Perfect Game 1 Go Yard for Parking Stadium lots can be pricey, gridlocked, and still far off. To find alternatives, the free Park Whiz app (iTunes, Android) can point you to game-time deals at nearby lots. Or call around to see if any bars or restaurants are hosting pregame parties. “Some let fans park free, knowing they’ll be spending money,” Hall says. 2 Call Your Own Game Face paint and a witty sign aren’t enough to attract instadium attention. If you want to be on TV or the Jumbotron, or get a pic with the team mascot, hit Twitter. Most teams have a special hashtag for fans to use during play. Cheer virtually, and include your seat number. Or catch a home run. Problem solved. 3 Eject…

YOU’RE INVITED TO EAT LUNCH IN A ROOM WITH one other person in it. That person has been told by researchers what and how much to eat, but you don’t know this. At the end of the meal, you’re asked this question: “Why did you choose to eat as much as you did?” If your answer is “I ate what I wanted to” or “I ate until I felt full,” then you’re not as intuitive as you think you are. “Our study participants assume that they eat out of free will,” says Sarah-Jeanne Salvy, Ph.D., a research associate professor at the University of Southern California. “They don’t realize they’re influenced by what other people eat.” Other social, environmental, and societal cues also prod you to eat more. Part of the…

The Body-Weight Blast DIRECTIONS Alternate between Workouts A and B three times a week with 48 hours of rest between them. Do the first four exercises in each workout (the Muscle Burner) as a circuit and the last two (the Cardio Burner) back-to-back as a superset; see the directions at right. For each move, choose the most challenging variation that allows you to complete the workout. Total time per session: 30 minutes. WORKOUT A MUSCLE BURNER 1 / Shoulders-Elevated Single-Leg Hip Thrust Place your upper back against a stable box or bench with your arms out to your sides. Lift your right foot, tucking your knee to your chest [A]. Raise your hips as high as you can [B]. (If doing reps, do 10 per leg.) PERFORM ITON TWOLEGS (BOTHFEETON…

YOUR NEEDS EVOLVE AS THE YEARS PASS. GIVE US A MINUTE, AND GO GRAB A MIRROR. HAIR THINS. FACES WRINKLE. FEET STINK. TEETH stain. These are facts of life, and a man should try only so hard to conceal them. Grooming isn’t meant to stop the march of time or permanently hide your flaws. Grooming, when done properly, is a winning negotiation with your body. It’s the delicate art of trimming, mussing, whitening, massaging, and scrubbing to put your best foot, and face, forward. Turn the page to find out how to look like a winner at any age. EXPLOIT YOUR YOUTH Your 20s are the sweet spot of grooming—when acne fades and crow’s-feet are way off the radar. No wonder 69 percent of the guys under 30 in a…

STARTED LIKE MOST COLLEGE HOOKUPS: Laura saw Ray at a frat party. He was quick to compliment her smile—and her ass. A few red Solo cups later, she was back at his apartment, clothes flying off. And that’s when things got weird. The fun, talkative guy from the party clammed up. “He was completely silent,” Laura said. “I could hear everything but him.” The effect was deeply unnerving. Like most women, Laura needed something—a moan, a grunt, a “Yeah, that’s it.” “I like to hear a man groaning, whispering my name, something to let me know he’s about to climax,” she says. Laura is not alone—but then neither is Ray. An overwhelming number of guys become suddenly tongue-tied when they’re getting busy. In fact, in a recent survey, 94 percent…

We’re running a contest to find the Ultimate Men’s Health Guy, and the winner will appear on the cover of our November issue. The judging panel, which includes Erin Andrews, Kenneth Cole, and Chris Cuomo, will pick a winner this summer, but readers’ choice is part of the vote. Here’s your leaderboard. 1. VAUGHN RIPLEY, BRUNSWICK, MD 8,198 reader votes “I’m one of the longestsurviving HIV-positive people in the world. I work out six days per week. I want to live long enough to see and enjoy my grandkids.” 2. PATRICK MIDGLEY, STAUNTON, VA 4,146 reader votes “My personal motto is ‘E very Day.’ It reminds me that every moment counts. It keeps me humble, at peace, and ready to do my job.” 3. ROBERT CARASITI, EAST MORICHES, NY 2,838…

1 / THE PRESSURE RISES Like a torrent of water rushing through a skinny hose, high blood pressure (140/90 mmHg or higher) forces your arteries to stretch more than they should. 2 / TINY RIPS OCCUR Under that stress, microscopic tears form in the innermost layer of your arteries. Your body tries to repair the damage by churning out clot-forming platelets. Other molecules, including LDL (bad) cholesterol, cellular debris, and calcium, become trapped inside the artery wall, forming plaque. 3 / ARTERIAL WALLS STIFFEN Your immune system deploys specialized white blood cells to break down the plaque, but those cells can’t break it down. Instead, they combine into “foam cells,” which spur inflammation. Your arteries’ smooth muscle cells form a hard cover over the mixture, stiffening your arterial walls. This…

Why She Fakes It Women who pretend to orgasm during intercourse are often trying to make you feel good or amp up their own arousal, a Temple University study says. Or they’re just tired. Some of the reasons: TO MAKE YOU FEEL SUCCESSFUL SO YOU KNOW YOU CAN PLEASE HER SO YOU DON’T FEEL INADEQUATE TO REWARD YOU FOR YOUR EFFORT YOU EXPECT HER TO REACH ORGASM TO MAKE SEX MORE INTENSE TO TURN HERSELF ON SHE THINKS IT’S SEXY SHE’S AFRAID SHE WON’T ORGASM SHE WANTS TO GO TO SLEEP SHE ISN’T ENJOYING HERSELF SHE’S ASHAMED SHE CAN’T ORGASM SHE’S SELFCONSCIOUS IS SHE BORED ON ALL FOURS? The primal heat of doggy-style sex may leave her cold. In a new Journal of Sexual Medicine study, not one woman who…

The New Math of Muscle Are you getting enough? Consuming 30 grams of protein at each meal can help you build more muscle, research in the Journal of Nutrition reveals. When study participants ate that amount, their protein synthesis level—the key to muscle growth—was 25 percent higher than that of people who skewed their consumption by loading their protein at dinner, as most Americans do. Spiking your protein synthesis levels a few times a day gives your body more opportunity to add muscle. Power up on protein four times a day to aid your workout gains and build more lean mass. Eat for Size and Strength A gun-sculpting diet is a matter of type and timing. To stay primed with protein all day long, follow the user-friendly meal plan at…

Virtuous as they may seem, most brand-name smoothies are polluted with added sugar or soy protein. We looked at 170 options, tossed the ones with offending ingredients, and pored over the stats to find the best. FIBER CHAMPS PROTEIN HEROES QUICK MEALS BEST FOR Filling You Up and Fighting Cancer You should consume 38 grams of fiber a day, says MH nutrition advisor Mike Roussell, Ph.D. “But the average guy takes in less than half that,” he says. These smoothies can help out. Supporting Your Workout Routine Flooding your body with protein every three or four hours can speed muscle synthesis, says Roussell. Try one of these around quitting time to prepare for an after-work sweat session. Scoring Nutrition on the Run Fresh fruits and vegetables are ideal but not…

Kettlebells Sculpt a stronger, leaner, more athletic body with this ballistic fat-frying muscle tool. FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, VERY FEW PEOPLE OUTSIDE Eastern Europe had ever heard of kettlebells. Today these weights are in almost every gym in America, and “kettlebell workouts” is the sixth most googled exercise term on the planet. No wonder: “Kettlebells are more user-friendly than barbells or dumbbells,” says kettlebell pioneer and StrongFirst.com chairman Pavel Tsatsouline. “You don’t need as many to hit every muscle, and they offer distinct advantages for boosting mobility and all-around strength.” Follow these rules to get the most out of every rep.—MICHAEL EASTER GO BALLISTIC AT HOME Prefer to sweat in private? “Buy three kettlebells: a 16-kilogram, a 24-kilogram, and a 32-kilogram,” says Tsatsouline. “That’s all you need for every move you’ll…

1 Sand Flies Unlike mosquitoes, which prick your skin, sand flies (no-see-ums and biting midges, for example) gnaw into you with tiny teeth before sucking up your blood. They don’t carry disease but may leave you covered in itchy bumps that last about a week. BANISH BITES Scratching through your skin can lead to infection, so prevent bites by applying a deet-based repellent before you hit the dunes and every time you dry off after a swim. 2 Food Poisoning Every year, one in six people contract a foodborne illness, according to the CDC. And since bacteria breed faster in a warm environment, cases tend to spike during the summer, says Men’s Health advisor Ted Epperly, M.D. Symptoms include diarrhea, abdominal cramps, vomiting, and fever. PACK SMART Stash spoilage-prone foods,…

AS SOON AS SUMMER HITS, MANY men turn off their fashion sense to stay cool. And that’s a mistake, says Megan Collins of Style Girlfriend, a website devoted to helping men dress better. “In summer, many guys are thinking only about being comfortable,” she says, “and they let their style slide.” Here’s the challenge: How do you stand out when every guy wears the same combo—T-shirt, shorts, and flipflops? Look for lightweight fabrics and slimmer-fitting designs. “You can feel just as cool in a linen button-down as you do in a T-shirt,” says Collins. The same goes for footwear: “Upgrade your flip-flops to a pair of slip-ons.” Use the advice on the next few pages to take bold steps (see: Hawaiian shirts) so you’ll never blend into the crowd. CLEAN…

NAVEL-GAZING MAY BE A WORTHWHILE PURSUIT AFTER ALL. JUST ASK VIVIAN Bucay, M.D., a San Antonio dermatologist. In 2006, at age 45, she noticed a patch of dry, white, flaky skin on her belly button that didn’t wash away. Curious, she took a biopsy of some flakes, expecting psoriasis, or eczema at worst. She was shocked when the pathologist called with the test results: melanoma. Further tests revealed that the cancer had spread to her lungs. Dr. Bucay’s chances of survival were so low—just 3 percent—that she entered clinical trials for an experimental treatment. The long-shot gamble paid off: She’s been cancer-free for seven years. Today, she’s warning the rest of us that what happened to her was no fluke. “About 50 percent of melanomas don’t start as a preexisting…

WARNING: YOUR WHOLE CONCEPT of strength training is about to change. How can we be so sure? Because for years, fitness insiders have told men that body-weight training is an excellent Plan B—perfect for vacations, business trips, and days you can’t make it to the gym. They’ve championed it as a system for boosting metabolism and building endurance, and decreed it a smart starting point for guys embarking on strength programs. “And all of that is true,” says BJ Gaddour, C.S.C.S., author of the new book Your Body Is Your Barbell. “But so is this: Your body weight can be even more effective than iron for packing on muscle.” It’s all in how you use it, as you’re about to discover. Paired with the workouts on this month’s poster, the…

NEVER STAND STILL TODAY TODAY the sun probably shines hot in your world, but on the day I met Hugh Jackman, New York City was buried under a foot of soot-stained snow and frozen stiff, traffic and all. It was a good day to be sequestered in a massive studio space downtown shooting photos, and the shit. This is my fourth time talking with Jackman. In the nearly 10 years bridging those conversations, I can tell you a few things I know for sure. One, he has an industry reputation as a generous gentleman. I can testify: He listens. He engages. He respects. Two, he’s a big dude. He has a couple of inches on me, which makes him six-two. But the heroic stature really comes from the broad chest.…

ALL I SEE IS A FLASH: MY WIFE IS BEHIND THE WHEEL, BOOMING UP THE FDR DRIVE IN NEW YORK CITY. She’s got the pedal to the metal, which is okay because somehow, in the middle of the day, there is not one other car on the highway. And the sky is all fake colors, a kind of bruised green roiling over squeeze-cheese orange. My wife is saying something: Stop apologizing. But she doesn’t mean “No need to apologize.” She is very, very tense. She wants me to shut the hell up. In the flash, I am aware that my thoughts, the part of me that feels like me, can’t claw to the surface. It is scary—like being buried alive. This is not, it turns out, a dream. This is…