Innholdsfortegnelse for Summer 2018 i MASK The Magazine

Cycles are funny: They circle around and around until we stop them…or not. As parents, we do the best we can with what we’ve learned. We either model what was taught or we make changes as we see fit. As a society, we know more today and have access to learn, grow and pass down healthier ways for our children. It is our choice to do that. We all have had hiccups and hang-ups from life’s journey that can keep us in a victim state, and unknowingly pass that thinking down to our children. But that is also a choice. “…as a mother, what actions, attitudes and words am I passing down to my “generation next”? Only they can answer that, but I will continue to strive to do my…

When life is stressful, finding a way to unwind is crucial. Grounding (or earthing) is a new method of reconnecting with the earth while possibly seeing some incredible side effects. Essentially, grounding is the practice of placing your bare feet on the earth’s natural surfaces. The contact is said to allow the earth’s natural electrons into your body, which flow through ground, such as grass, soil and sand. After doing this for half an hour or more, the electrons are purported to reduce pain, stress and inflammation, as well as improve sleep quality, energy levels and blood flow. Throughout time, humans have had plenty of contact with the bare ground through farming and everyday life. As our society became more advanced, we lost much of that contact and, instead, are…

+ Include your children in family discussions, and use these as ways to show them how people can get along with others and work together. + Practice what you preach. Children notice when you don’t. + Work towards a healthy lifestyle by eating well and exercising regularly. Avoid making negative comments about your body and other people’s, too. Not only will you be healthier, but you will also send an important message about body image and acceptance. + Show that you enjoy education and learning. If you make it seem interesting and enjoyable rather than a chore, you child is more likely to have a positive attitude toward school. + Keep a positive attitude in your life: think, act, and talk in an optimistic way. + Take responsibility for yourself…

Parental alienation (PA) is an old problem, even though many people don’t know what it is until it happens to them. In brief, parental alienation is a family dynamic in which one parent engages in behaviors that foster a child’s unjustified rejection of the other parent. This happens often, but not always in the context of a contentious or high-conflict separation and divorce. Examples of PA behaviors include denigrating the other parent; interfering in parenting time; creating the impression that the other parent is unsafe, unloving and unavailable; interfering with communication between the child and the other parent; and undermining the other parent’s value and authority. Taken together, these behaviors foster distorted thoughts and feelings about the parent and, when the PA is successful, a child may come to hate…

Q: My mom talks bad about my dad since they got divorced. It makes me feel so confused because I love them both. What should I do? – Lauren, 7th grade, Roanoke, Virginia A: This is so hard, Lauren. Divorce is not easy in any family. If you are comfortable, you need to talk with your mom and tell her how this hurts you and that you love both of them. If you are not comfortable talking to her, then try talking to another trusted adult. Q: My dad is in rehab because he is an alcoholic. Does that mean that I will become an alcoholic too? – Trevor, 8th grade, Littleton, Colorado A: It is so scary when we think about the mistakes our parents made - and it’s…

Several Valley schools made a commitment to build healthy students, improve school climate and strengthen parent-child bonds by implementing the MASK Academy, which includes a site-based peer mentoring program. Each year, MASK trains and certifies Arizona State University (ASU) students to become MASK mentors. The ASU students mentor elementary-age student government members who, in turn, mentor their student body. This cross-age, site-based peer mentoring captures children’s attention and creates a safe place for children and teens to share their concerns. This year, MASK Academy was implemented in Norterra Canyon and Canyon Springs, pre-K through eighth grade schools in the Deer Valley Unified School District. The student government representatives at these schools did an outstanding job of executing reinforcement activities all year long to build and strengthen their student body. Through…

To help parents continue to model good behavior for their college student, we asked Arizona State University’s Dr. Aaron Kasnow, Associate Vice President of Counseling & Health Services; Karen Moses, Director of Wellness & Health Promotion; and Missy Pizzo, Assistant Vice President of Enrollment Services, Financial Aid & Scholarship Services to provide some insight and advice. Here’s what they shared. What types of behavior can you model for your college-age child that will help them in college? During college, students will have opportunities to hone skills they may have just begun to explore during their high school years. However, at times, students who are well-prepared to succeed academically in college still experience challenges adjusting to college life as undergraduates. Through our work with students at ASU, we have found the…

What is Teen Challenge’s mission? The mission of Teen Challenge of Arizona’s Home of Hope is to disciple and care for women 18 and older and their young children, to help them become mentally sound, emotionally balanced, socially adjusted, physically well and spiritually alive through the power of Jesus Christ. What services and programs does Teen Challenge provide? We are a 12- to 15-month residential recovery program that provides an atmosphere of healing, the tools and education necessary to help these women overcome their addictions, restore appropriate family relationships, obtain and retain employment, and become productive members of our community. Our program models what a women’s life might look like outside of our care. Every woman has a job, either in the home or in our community, while her children…

The heat is on and it’s time to find interesting things to keep your kids’ summer boredom at bay. Here are seven cool things guaranteed to keep them interested, engaged and learning. SUNDAY SEEK & EXPLORE VISIT NATIONAL PARKS AND MUSEUMS Parks, museums and historic sites provide opportunities to bring learning to life for children. Many historic sites stage reenactments of battles or demonstrations of life during that time period. Almost all of the parks have activities for children. Ask your children to identify things they learned in school and nurture their navigation skills by making a scavenger hunt for your outing. BY THE BOOK ENJOY READING EVERY DAY Take your kids to the local library and borrow books to read over the break. Spend time reading together as a…

As if there weren’t enough dangers to worry about in your teen’s life, ingesting laundry detergent seems to be among the new concerns. Although not actually a drug in the traditional sense, this new trend on social media began with people posting pictures online and joking about how the detergent pods—particularly Tide pods—look “colorful and squishy,” similar to fruit. Teens across America began doing the Tide Pod Challenge, a viral trend in which they film themselves intentionally biting into a detergent pod. But whether they realize the consequences or not, one bite can lead to hospitalization with near fatal repercussions. One bite can lead to hospitalization with near fatal repercussions. Since detergent pods are extremely concentrated, ingesting them can lead to serious side effects such as seizures, respiratory arrest, coma…

Maria Wojtczak, owner of DrivingMBA, a AAA-approved driving school with locations in Gilbert and Scottsdale, believes it’s important for parents to take stock of their own behavior behind the wheel. And she’s not alone—a 2012 study by Liberty Mutual Insurance and SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) also shows that teenage drivers believe their parents live by different driving rules than the ones they preach to their teens. Here are some startling statistics from the study: ⋆ 91% of teens report their parents talk on cell phones while driving; ⋆ 59% say their parents text and drive; ⋆ 88% say their parents speed; and ⋆ 47% of parents are said to have driven without seatbelts. Shockingly, 20 percent of teens say they’ve seen their parents get behind the wheel when under…

How many of us get that glazed look and a shrug from our kids when we ask, “How was your day?” How many of us have endured closed doors, ear buds and secretive behaviors as our teenager struggles to claim their independence? I came from a large farm family, and my hard-working parents didn’t have the luxury of one-on-one time. I learned solid values through their actions, but rarely felt “heard.” In the process of raising four kids into adulthood, parenting has taken many twists and turns, and authentic connection was often challenging. And now we have seven grandkids! So here are my musings of what’s worked—and what hasn’t—hoping it may spark some ideas for creating better communication with your kids. Through the years, I was sometimes so busy that…

Do we become who we are because our genes say so? Or does our environment play a role? The argument of nature vs. nurture has been around for centuries, but it has recently been identified that neither nature nor nurture paint the whole picture of an individual. Instead, it is the nurturing of those natural tendencies that determines who we become. According to human behavior and parenting expert Dr. Gail Gross in an article entitled “The Power of Parental Influence in Child Development” on Huffington Post, our genes set the stage, but the environment our parents provide truly decides our fate. “So, although your genes lay out a blueprint for your potential development, they do not determine the way in which you will grow,” she says. “Instead, it is the…

For many families, passing down generations of traditions and rituals is a wonderful way to continue your family’s legacy and enrich your children’s lives in positive life-encouraging ways. However, passing down toxicity—the impact of adverse childhood experiences and trauma—is a risk parents take when we don’t break the cycle and when we repeat the negative patterns of our family’s previous generations. “Changing our toxic or damaged routines and rituals is critical in breaking the cycle and ensuring our children don’t end up repeating our mistakes,” says Dr. Shefali Gandhi, a licensed psychologist in Scottsdale, Arizona. “To do this, we must become actively mindful of our choices and the behaviors we engage in when we interact with our children. One of the most powerful ways a parent influences their children is…

As Robin Martinez looks up and admires Arizona State University’s (ASU) recently constructed law school building in downtown Phoenix, he knows who to thank for getting him closer to his dream of becoming a civil rights attorney. Growing up in Parker, Arizona, Robin’s family provided all the support and inspiration he needed to achieve academically and to start on his path as a pre-law student. Even though they didn’t attend college, his parents cultivated an atmosphere of achievement and responsibility to ensure that he could go. “My mother and father always made sure I knew that college was a necessity. If my grades were slacking in the slightest, they were on me. They made sure I put myself in the best possible position to succeed, and in retrospect I appreciate…

No matter our age, we all look forward to summer break. Even though parents don’t typically get the same time off as their lucky offspring, not having the kids in school allows most a few less hectic months before mid August rolls around again to halt the summer fun. It can be tricky though, as more relaxed summertime schedules and attitudes make it super easy to get off track with the healthy habits we (mostly) stick to during the school year, especially when it comes to what we eat. Extended activities and travel often mean families aren’t even home during mealtime hours resulting in fewer home-based meals and more meals out. But let’s be real. If you don’t taste funnel cake at the amusement park, savor the flavor of local…

“Fine, then I’m going to take your kids away from you. I’m not giving you another penny of my money.” All I ever wanted to be was a mom. As I was going through my divorce, I remember thinking, “At least I have my babies.” They’re all I needed. Before the divorce I was a stay-at-home mom and sole caregiver to our three children (my ex was gone six days a week). I adored every moment. They were my purpose. My whole life. Most often, divorces are nasty and ugly. Ours wasn’t. We agreed on all terms and we walked away to allow us both to be happy. I later married an amazing man and the best bonus dad. Life was great! My ex-husband entered into a serious relationship and…

DRUG While a glass or two of wine at dinner may not put you over the legal limit, drinking and driving is still dangerous and can show your kids they can do it, too. Teach your children and teens safe and sound habits by avoiding drinking—even in small amounts—when you go out or have a safe plan for a ride home. Be sure to talk to them about the dangers of drunk driving. TECH Social media is a fun way to interact for kids and parents alike, but did you know what you post can affect your child’s own social media habits? Think about it: If your child sees you post mean comments or inappropriate pictures, they will think that behavior is okay. Parents are role models, so post appropriate…

Today, everything revolves around cell phones. People can’t put them down, no matter where they are and we may even go so far as to call them an addiction. Having one means everyone can keep up on social media, not having one means one-on-one connecting with each other and the world around you. While our smart phones can be entertaining, they can also be extremely distracting. Eating dinner or having a conversation with your family is almost impossible with screens in the way. Ridding yourself of technology altogether may not be feasible, but doing it for one day certainly is. This summer, try starting a tech-free day with your family. Leave your cell phones at home and go outside for a fun-filled day of activities without a device to look…

Exploring a new vacation destination can be daunting, but when it comes to Carolina Beach and Kure Beach, visitors are in luck. Despite their close proximity to one another—they share the same island—each beach has its own distinct personality. Whether a lively throwback vacation abuzz with activity tickles your fancy, or a peaceful escape is more your speed, first-time visitors will get their coastal fix at these two beach towns. CAROLINA BEACH Carolina Beach offers the best of a North Carolina beach experience from the past with a fun, family-friendly spin for today. Visitors can experience a vintage, nationally recognized boardwalk, Carolina Beach State Park, one-of-a-kind festivals and events, world-class fishing, miles of beautiful beach, and all kinds of people united by their love of good times. The Carolina Beach…

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Like father, like son.” “A chip off the old block.” Common sense, simple observation and psychological research show that these adages ring true when it comes to human development—that children often grow up to mimic the behavior, beliefs and attitudes of their parents. You may not know it, but your day-to-day behavior, from the way you drive to the tone of your voice, is shaping the way your child will act for the rest of their life. Children are like sponges, they model everything a parent does and incorporate what they see into their own lives, which is why it’s important that parents set the right examples for their children. There are, however, toxic and negative behaviors parents exhibit and can potentially…

Most people are aware of the role genetics play in addiction, and it’s not surprising that substance abuse increases the incidence of physical violence and serious child neglect within a family. However, by far, the greatest consequence of parental addiction is the loss of effective, substantive and stable parental involvement that is essential for child development. Children of alcoholics and addicts experience interrupted, damaged or slowed cognitive, emotional and behavioral growth. Their mothers and fathers simply can’t provide good daily care and attention because they’re preoccupied with using. In turn, children’s developmental needs go unmet, leading to emotional wounds and/or overt behavioral deficits. While the effects of addiction on parenting are complicated, the most common patterns for parents who abuse substances include: ⋆ Checking out. It isn’t possible to be…

As a proud and loving parent of three beautiful and successful kids with families of their own, I’m going to begin by saying: I haven’t always gotten it right. I’m blessed to be living a life—and career—of passion and intention, having worked almost three decades in the addiction and mental health treatment industry. I guide individuals and families who are struggling in their lives to find the help and support they need. Let’s start at the beginning: My life wasn’t always happy, joyous and free. From about the age of 14 until December 16, 1983, I lived a life on the edge—a life of poor decisions and self-medicating behaviors with alcohol and drug use, and all with very little regard. You’re probably asking yourself, where’s the “reflection of love” and…

1 UNIQUE BONDS // My parents and I have always had our similarities and differences. As far as personalities go, my mom and I are pretty much the same person. This means we get along extremely well when it comes to either of us needing advice. Surprisingly, this is also a struggle between us because we are both equally stubborn. If an argument starts, the two of us can hold a grudge and be passive-aggressive with each other for days. Although this may sound like a bad thing, it has helped not only me, but also my mom, grow intellectually. Because of my mom’s constant support and advice, I’ve learned how to be a more independent “young lady,” while knowing I still have guidance. From this struggle with stubbornness, I’ve…

For more than 40 years, one nonprofit organization has provided a voice for the most vulnerable: its local children. Based in Long Beach, California, For The Child (FTC) resulted as a merger between two centers in July 1996, according to the nonprofit’s website. Both agencies were founded by social workers Bobbi Kendig and Clara Lowry, who felt there was a critical need for treatment programs for child victims of physical and sexual abuse. Bob Gartland, FTC’s board president, admits he was shocked when initially learning about the “size and scope of the problems” in the community. “I don’t think the average citizen is aware of the struggles that families are faced with right here in our community,” he says. “When I saw the success of the work they do and…

SWEET POTATO SALAD 1 lb. sweet potatoes, cut into one-inch cubes¼ cup pecan pieces, toasted¼ cup dried cranberries1 bunch green onions, chopped2 tbsp. olive oilSalt and pepper to taste CHIPOTLE VINAIGRETTE 2 tbsp. (or to taste) canned chipotle chilies1 cup canola oil1 shallotJuice of one lime½ tbsp. honey1 tbsp. sherry vinegar½ tbsp. molasses1 garlic clove2 tbsp. chopped chivesSalt and pepper ▸ Prepare the vinaigrette by mixing all the ingredients in a blender or food processor. Set aside. Heat oven to 325 degrees. Toss diced potatoes with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until tender. Let cool slightly and toss with remaining ingredients. Coat with vinaigrette until desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper. Serve warm or cold. Serves 6-8. The Farm Kitchen // 6106 S. 32nd…