■ At the usual mayhem of the monthly meeting of the KULT, a new member—heard in one of those brief moments when everybody in the place shuts up together—mentioned that he had never been able to catch a bluegill, let alone learn what one even looked like. After everyone stopped laughing, we fired him.
But that started me thinking. Not everybody is born with the instinct, the foreknowledge, the feeling it takes to be a great fisherman. I was just lucky. Some people, I reasoned, could benefit from clear, lucent, pellucid, perspicuous, unambiguous, short, brief, concise, succinct, compendious, breviloquent information on fish identifications, habitats, feeding habits, time of day, phase of moon, level of tide, alignment of planets, and whether or not the universe started with a “big bang” or…