Esquire February 2013

Essential information for this issue and your month " … A ONE-NIGHT STAND YOU'LL REMEMBER YEARS LATER IN THE SHOWER OR ON A TWO-LANE COUNTRY HIGHWAY." "Between takes, he starts showing me the ingredients in different items. Did that for 45 minutes." "IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA SEE ONE IRON-LUNG MOVIE ABOUT A GUY TRYING TO LOSE HIS VIRGINITY THIS YEAR, THIS IS ONE OF THE BETTER ONES." "PUT A NEW MEDAL THERE: FOR VALOR IN THE WAR OF SEX." "WHEN I WAS SIX, I WAS A PUNT RETURNER ON MY DAD'S TEAM. I GOT HURT. I WENT UP AND TOLD HIM, 'DAD, I CAN'T STRAIGHTEN MY NECK.' BUT I MADE SURE I TOLD HIM THAT AFTER I RETURNED A PUNT FOR A TOUCHDOWN." "Beautiful girls come up and say, 'My…

JOHN HAWKES SCOTT RAAB TALKS TO THE ACTOR ABOUT PRIVACY, BOOKS, THE SESSIONS, THE OSCARS, AND KEEPING A LOW NUT Lunchtime, Crosby Street Hotel, downtown Manhattan. THE POP-CULTURE FIELD GUIDE Things you may encounter on your journey ATHABASCA 1. Town in Alberta, Canada. Population: 2,990. 2. Home of Athabasca University. Enrollment: 38,464. 3. FEATURED IN THE LIVES INSIDE THE LINES IN YOUR HAND, SOLO DEBUT OF STARBUCKS-APPROPRIATED "SNOW DAY" SCRIBE MATT POND. Clip, Save, Share, from any page. Download the Netpage app free from the iTunes App Store. JOHN HAWKES: I've been lookin' for you, man. SCOTT RAAB: Been here since Tuesday. JH: There's moss growing on your north side you've been here so long. I'm so sorry. SR: I won't hear of it. WAITRESS: Is tap water okay for…

You're afraid of commitment. And when you visit the bookstore, browsing shelves that look ready to snap under the weight of the latest novel by Franzen or Chabon, you can't help but calculate the weeks, sometimes months it will take you to get through all those pages. Give yourself a break. Reach for a short story. A short story is a red-faced sprint. A short story is a one-night stand you'll remember years later in the shower or on a two-lane country highway. A short story is a precisely cut diamond. A short story is a glimpse—like the flash and buzz of a hummingbird—that stills your breath with its beauty. A short story, because it is short, can forgivably push boundaries, take risks. A short story attends to language in…

A FEW IDEAS RANDOM ADVICE FOR THE MONTH AHEAD 1. Resist the temptation to watch all 13 episodes of House of Cards in one sitting. 2. Ignore all articles and blog posts with the phrase "First Hundred Days" in the headline. 3. Don't shovel the snow twice. Clear all the snow all the way off the driveway, sidewalk, etc. 4. Read a few pages of Simon Rich's new book, The Last Girlfriend on Earth. 5. If it does not amuse you, try George Saunders's new one. (See page 30.) 6. Begin mulling over the possibilities of a bar tour. (For more, see next month's Esquire.) 7. With a nice piece of colored construction paper, cut out the shape of a heart. It doesn't have to be a perfect heart shape.…

THERE'S THIS ACTOR, Marty, in his 50s living in L. A. who's never had his big break. One day, his agent calls him. "Marty, you're not gonna believe it. I got you a part. It's on Broadway. It's just one line, but it's a huge play. And you're on tomorrow night." Marty says, "This is great. What's the line?" The agent says, "Hark! I hear the cannons roar." Marty agrees to the part, and he's thrilled. He gets to the airport and starts running the line out loud over and over again all the way to New York. "Hark! I hear the cannons roar. Hark! I hear the cannons roar." All the way to the theater he runs the line. He gets to the theater, goes backstage, waits for his…

Eat Like a Man Making a sauce in the pan you just used to cook whatever the sauce will cover—in this case, a beautiful steak—is all about perception. It looks (and tastes) like it takes more time and training than it actually does. That's because the ingredients do a lot of the work for you—the meat, in a way, becomes part of the sauce. The fundamental technique here is called deglazing, and it's one of those essential principles of cooking that chefs hesitate to give away because it's so easy. Truth is it's simple to master, and it will catapult your confidence as a cook in just a few minutes. The first thing to understand is that it's a blessing to have little bits of meat stick to the pan…