Innholdsfortegnelse for 13-Nov-2019 i Country Life

CONSERVATIONISTS have applauded last week’s Government announcement that it has suspended fracking in England ‘unless and until further evidence is provided that it can be carried out safely’. Tom Fyans of the CPRE calls it ‘a victory for the community and for effective campaigning. It’s great when the science, the politics and the communities all come together’. The decision represents a significant change in policy, considering that, only a year ago, ministers were considering fast-tracking fracking through the planning system ( COUNTRY LIFE , October 17, 2018). The trigger for the reversal was last week’s interim assessment by the Oil and Gas Authority (OGA), which stated that it could not exclude the possibility of larger, drilling-induced tremors, such as the one recorded in Preston, Lancashire, in August, which measured 2.9…

AGRICULTURE is on the cusp of a technology revolution that will overhaul the sector, making it easier to reconcile sustainability with better food production. According to a report by NFU Mutual, farmers have an unprecedented number of ground-breaking tools at their disposal. For example, says the company’s technology specialist Charlie Yorke, they can now attach sensors to a quadbike and map a field as they drive through it, gaining information on soil health, quality, textures and nutrients. This helps them to optimise planting, as well as preventing degradation. Many people have already embraced variable application rates of chemicals, where, rather than bulk-spraying a field, they use the appropriate quantity for each area. Drones are becoming increasingly popular to identify specific places or plants to treat, but the next step, explains…

IF you enjoy reading our Town & Country and property pages, perhaps you’d enjoy writing and editing them. Maternity cover for the News and Property Editor position will be required from January or February 2020, with the role based at our office in Farnborough, Hampshire. Applicants should have a strong interest in the countryside and in the property market. Robust editorial experience, a well-developed news sense, strong writing skills and, above all, the ability to be a flexible team player are required. To apply, please email, with CV, Kate Green, Deputy Editor (kate. green@ti-media.com) by November 27.…

On the road again Q We bought our daughter her first car six months ago, but she has already written it off. She’s fine and we are now debating whether to get her a replacement. It was an accident, so we don’t want her to think she is being punished, but would it be irresponsible or even dangerous to put her back behind the wheel? C. R., Gloucestershire A Count your blessings—she’s fine, which is the main thing. We’ve all had accidents, particularly in Gloucestershire, where polo renders the natives a tad gung-ho. As with polo, the sooner she gets back into the saddle, the less dented her confidence will be. You can’t not have a car in the country, although you might ask her to contribute to the…

IT is a truth universally acknowledged that behind every successful woman is a meticulously planned wardrobe. Ok, that might not be true—but it’s certainly a truth universally known that the right outfit and handbag will leave you feeling ready to take on the world. It’s a truth that Lalage Beaumont is well aware of and this shines through her new autumn/winter collection, both in the bags and the ready-to-wear clothing. ‘The new bags are inspired by 1960s styles that I have loved’ Three new handbags, each handcrafted by artisans, will be joining the range of luxury leather accessories on show at the Knightsbridge store. ‘The new bags are inspired by vintage 1960s styles that I have loved and collected over the years,’ says Lalage, who honed her skills at fashion…

THE well-researched and cogently presented ‘Wild and Majestic: Romantic Visions of Scotland’ at the National Museum of Scotland included a magnificent painting of Col William Gordon by Pompeo Batoni (Exhibition, August 28). Executed in Rome in 1766 during Gordon’s Grand Tour, it’s a swagger portrait with knobs on. Gordon has gone semi-native, festooned in acres of Huntly tartan styled as a sort of ‘kiltoga’—a fetching combi of kilt and toga that might catch on if Scots fans visit Italy for the Six Nations match next year. Leaning on the bent tip of his sword, he presents a well-turned knee and calf and reeks of 18th-century toxic masculinity. I surveyed this imposing work and wondered whether my eldest daughter, classically trained to paint portraits in Florence, couldn’t reinvent the Grand…

WHAT does fermenting woad smell like? It’s hard to find the right words, but, luckily, plantsman and natural dyer Ashley Walker can see I’m flummoxed. Mr Walker and Susan Dye (yes, really) grow traditional plants—such as weld, madder and woad—for dying fabric and yarn. He looks from the jar of woad to me. ‘Halitosis,’ he declares with a smile. ‘Really bad halitosis.’ Mr Walker is right. The jar of woad slurry smells like the worst breath imaginable. I stare at the jar and wonder why anyone would willingly go near it, let alone use it to dye fabric. The answer is that woad, the plant Isatis tinctoria, contains indigo, one of the most coveted colours throughout human history. ‘There are many different plants around the world that contain indigo and…

• Bumble & Ava Fair Trade clothes for babies and children aged three months to six years (www.bumbleandava.com) • Dotty Dungarees Alice Goldsmith and Georgie Parr seek to create the ‘perfect dungarees’ suitable for every activity, from crawling to climbing trees. Various stockists (www.dottydungarees.com) • Elfie London Various stockists, including Fortnum & Mason and Soho Farmhouse ( above , www.elfielondon.com) • Marie-Chantal 4, Motcomb Street, London SW1 (0800 112 4129; www.mariechantal.co.uk) • Nellie Quats Handmade clothes for girls aged 18 months to 10 years (www.nelliequats.com) • Rachel Riley 82, Marylebone High Street, London W1, plus stockists including Harrods (020–7259 5969; www.rachelriley.co.uk) • Trotters Stores in London and Guildford, Surrey (020–7371 5973; www.trotters.co.uk)…

Bright light The all-red finish of the Coral table lamp is sure to enliven any room. It costs £810, which includes a shade that’s matched to the base, from Hector Finch (020–7731 8886; www. hectorfinch.com) Shady dealings Ashoka Designs creates lamp shades made from block-printed fabrics sourced in Rajasthan and Uzbekistan, such as this Palash-cotton Empire shade, from £75 for a 10in size. The studio also makes bespoke shades in customers’ fabrics (07769 658408; www. ashokadesigns.com) Painted beauty This hand-painted, faux -malachite lamp base, £400, is finished with a gathered shade made from vintage textiles, from £245, both by Vanrenen G. W. Designs (01488 500206; www.vanrenengwdesigns.com) Pick and mix Mix-and-match fabric-covered lampshades, from £42 each, with hand-carved wooden bases, from £68, or the Hammered Glass Vase lamp base, £125, all…

1800 Glasgow forms a street-lighting department and makes it a mandatory duty. The streets are lit with oil and wick 1807 Frederick Winsor demonstrates the first street lamps on Pall Mall 1813 Westminster Bridge is permanently lit by gas lamps 1816 Preston becomes the first town outside London to be lit by gas, thanks to the pioneering work of Rev Joseph Dunn, a Catholic priest 1878 London Embankment is electrified, using arc lamps. Gas slowly starts to be phased out 2010 Gas lamps return to the north-west corner of the Covent Garden Piazza in London, illuminating the outside of the Apple Store 2012 Malvern finishes restoring its 104 gas lamps…

• Bob’s Chocolate Bitters—with its hints of mocha and malt, it’s easy to see why this intensely chocolatey bitter was created with Glenmorangie whisky in mind. £12.50 (020–7734 2053; www.gerrys.uk.com) • Dr Adam Elmegirab’s Teapot Bitters —inspired by historic tea and spice roots, this blend of star anise, peppercorns, cloves and tea leaves enhances light rums, dry sherry and brandies. £10 (0800 520 0474; www.masterofmalt.com) • Bitter Union Lemon, Hops and Herbs—delicious in a gin and tonic or a gin fizz, this all-rounder is simultaneously tangy, floral and subtly bitter, courtesy of artemisia. £12.95 (0333 121 2155; www.boroughbox.com)…

IF you were to exit Knightsbridge station and walk to the Royal Albert Hall, you’d pass a curious sign: ‘Park Close SW1’. ‘SW1?’ you might wonder, looking at the SW7 postcode of your destination. SW1 might sooner call up the Houses of Parliament or Horse Guards Parade than a passage near Harrods. How then can the postcode have switched so quickly? Such is London’s postcode system. In my south-London neighbourhood, Streatham High Road flips from SW2 to SW16 in a quickstep. Up in Elephant & Castle, 8, Hayles Street is in SE11—‘the gateway to trendy south London,’ says a friend who lives on the border—but the pub just next door, The Prince of Wales, is in SE1, one of the city’s biggest postcodes. Whether you realise it or not,…

Rhododendron Blaauw’s Pink (Kurume) AGM One of Wilson’s 50, this compact evergreen Japanese azalea flowers in April or early May, generally missing frost. It’s stronger than many, with soft salmon-pink flowers held above dark-green foliage. For partial shade and acid soil, or containerise in ericaceous compost. 3ft by 3ft Cornus kousa Miss Satomi AGM This dogwood has a spreading habit, with pink flowers (more correctly, bracts) sitting on top of the branches. Full sun or partial shade and perfect in the middle of a border or as a specimen in lawn. Neutral to acid soil. 6ft by 10ft Abelia x grandiflora Lake Maggiore AGM A refined form of this Italian hybrid, first raised at Rovelli Nursery on Lake Maggiore in…

A new hedge will outlive you, so it pays to prepare well. Dig the trench a spit deep and break up the base. Keep the whips under damp sacking until you are ready to plant. Next, hold each whip against the line and plant a foot apart, pushing some soil in to hold it in place. Ensure each is at the nursery mark, then work your way along, backfilling as you go. Neaten levels up with spade and fork, then firm by walking along the row and resting your weight against each plant in turn. Finally, hoe out the footprints.…

ALTHOUGH only 10 works are firmly attributed to him, Cenni di Pepo, or Cimabue, is regarded as the seminal artist of Western European painting. This is because he was among the first to move beyond the statuesque traditions of Byzantine icon painting, giving life and movement to his figures and even a modicum of true perspective to architectural elements. He was born in Florence between 1240 and 1250, and died in Pisa in 1302; traditionally, he was said to have discovered and trained Giotto and to have influenced Duccio. Probably his best-known work is the painted Crucifixion in S Croce, Florence. Both the names by which he is known are, in fact, nicknames, as Cenni di Pepo is a shortening of Bencivieni (Benvenuto in modern Italian) di Giuseppe, and Cimabue…

PAINTERS’ self-portraits have a special status because we view them as windows to the soul. Artists, we assume, know themselves best, so their self-images must be especially revealing. But that assumption overlooks the problem pinpointed by Lucian Freud, that ‘in self-portraits you’ve got to paint yourself as another person’. In a 70-year career, Freud produced more than 50 self-portraits, most of which are currently on show at the Royal Academy. Whether on paper or canvas, finished or unfinished, they all exhibit the same emotional detachment and the same resistance to artistic classification. True, the earliest examples flirt with Surrealism, but their dream-like quality comes from their crystal clarity, rather than their content. ‘To catch himself off guard, Freud set up encounters with stray mirrors’ The artist’s first major self-portrait, Man…

Anti-HS2 campaigner A freedom-of-information request made by an individual more than two years ago has confirmed—as if we didn’t already know—an enormous budget deficit for the controversial 250mph train Cutting the mustard Colman’s is riding to the rescue of beleaguered beef farmers—after all, meat and mustard are a heavenly marriage—and backing a tabloid paper’s meat-eating campaign Rewilding The buzzword, meaning the practice of returning land to a wild state, will enter the Collins English Dictionary Scottish biodiversity New research is underway as to why bluefin tuna are returning to Scottish seas and scientists think red deer on Rum are reacting to climate change by giving birth earlier…

TIGER, our fox-red labrador, just about survived Guy Fawkes Night, although she was reduced to a quivering wreck by the whizz bangs. I found that the only way to comfort her was by listening to Classic FM’s Pet Sounds, in which specially chosen tracks were played during the evening to soothe the nation’s dogs and cats. It did involve listening to Vaughan Williams’s glorious The Lark Ascending and other calming tracks at an abnormally high volume, but I’m glad to say that the ploy worked and Tiger slowly calmed down. In the past, Fireworks Night took place on November 5, but now, it is a fireworks fortnight, beginning with Hallowe’en. This is the worst time of the year for cats and dogs, especially for those living in towns and cities,…

THE foxhound is a lethargic, lazy-looking, handsome animal at the covert side, serious and sagacious, no playing about or gamboling like other dogs. But when running a fox he is a different article altogether, full of dash and drive and, when closing up on a beaten fox, with the hackles up, tremendously fierce and keen. I have seen foxhounds, when used for stag hunting, go for a stag at bay time after time and receive some cruel wounds from his horns. Foxes in coverts are found by what is called ‘drawing’ for them. Hounds are put into covert and spread themselves out, and one or another is likely to put the fox on his feet. A huntsman usually, if it suits the covert and agrees with the direction he wants…

Only the other day, a tasting was held in London with the title ‘Alsace Rocks’. I think this was a double entendre, referring both to Alsace’s great geological complexity and to its recent coming into vogue (at least, in the organisers’ minds). Although there may have been an element of wishful thinking—for decades, wine writers have enthused about the region, but its image has been more reliable than exciting—both meanings came out loud and clear. Alsace is beginning to enjoy its time in the sun. It produces wines of astonishing diversity and great quality. This week, I’m focusing on Alsace Pinot Noirs, which include some of the best-value expressions of that desirable, but elusive grape on the market. Why you should be drinking them Alsace seems to be, on…

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ON September 20, 1979, formal consent was granted for the demolition of the Lloyd’s building, designed in 1925 by Sir Edwin Cooper, on Leadenhall Street. Splendid as the existing building was, there was no effective opposition to this proposal. In part, this was because no society existed to advocate inter-war architecture (the Victorian Society formally drew the line at 1914). At the offices of COUNTRY LIFE , Marcus Binney, then Architectural Editor, talked to his colleague Clive Aslet about whether they should try and fill this gap. The result —and with others involved—was the Thirties Society, familiar today as the Twentieth Century Society (C20). Athena is happy to wish this institution every best wish for its 40th birthday celebrations. The loss of the Lloyd’s Building was followed within a year…

The Marquess of Cholmondeley is the owner of Houghton Hall, Norfolk ‘There is a wonderful freshness to this family group. The flush of Margaret Gainsborough’s cheek, the way she leans towards her husband, while gazing into the distance. The silks and velvets are so perfectly rendered and the artist’s crimson waistcoat, partially unbuttoned, draws the eye. It’s an image of great tenderness; Gainsborough painting for himself and his adored wife, not for a rich patron. Yet there is a note of sadness, as little Mary was so short lived. The painting belonged to my great uncle, Sir Philip Sassoon, who had a fascination for conversation pieces, then my grandmother Sybil. It brings back childhood memories of holidays at Houghton’ John McEwen comments on Portrait of the Artist with his…

• An oystercatcher’s bill can grow at a rate of 1/50in a day—three times the speed of human fingernails • Breeding females sometimes dump eggs in other birds’ nests, as the cuckoo does, although these are rarely successfully incubated • Piping parties of up to 30 birds can sometimes be seen performing in a ritual dance, which involves running around in a circle with their beaks close to the ground • Oystercatchers emit a wide range of calls, including a social keep keep, a cock’s mating cry of a single drawn out peep, peep and a sharp pik, pik when a bird is disturbed in the nest • Don’t be fooled by the starling’s tuneful repertoire, which features a very convincing impersonation of the oystercatcher…

• Château d’Igé, a four-star hotel and restaurant in Burgundy, only 15 minutes from Mâcon and Cluny. Classic rooms from € 75 to € 209 (00 33 3 85 33 33 99; www.chateaudige.com) • Domaine Fichet, a vineyard in Domange, near Igé in Burgundy (00 33 3 85 33 30 46; www.domainefichet.fr) • Domaine des Andéols, a luxury boutique hotel complex, with its own lavender fields and olive grove, near Saint-Saturninlès-Apt—about an hour from Avignon—in Provence. Rooms from € 240 (00 33 4 90 75 50 63; www.andeols.com) • Eurotunnel Le Shuttle (www.eurotunnel.com)…

• Woad is part of the brassica family, together with cabbage, broccoli and oilseed rape • It’s a biennial, producing leaves in year one, which can be used to obtain indigo, and seed in the second • Tradition says the Picts used woad to dye their skin blue, but this is contested by scholars • Elizabeth I restricted woad cultivation during the famine of 1585, to force farmers to grow food crops • Woad is used in traditional Chinese medicine due to its antiviral and antibacterial properties…

Lanarkshire, offers over £900,000 A dream restoration project for any countryman, the historic house within Leadloch Farm’s 382 undulating acres is derelict and ripe for investment, with interesting period features and stone-inscribed coat-of-arms of the Waddell family. Traditional farm buildings need TLC, too, but there’s a productive livestock unit, pasture, rough grazing and amenity woodland. The village of Fauldhouse is about a mile away (with rail links to Edinburgh and Glasgow) and Livingston is 13 miles away. Loch Lomond and the Trossachs National Park are not far to the northwest. Galbraith (01786 434600) Aberdeenshire, £720,000 In 1889, the young English wife of Sir Arthur Grant, 9th Baronet of Monymusk, was so displeased by the buildings of north-east Scotland that her husband was persuaded to rebuild their house…

Susannah Lovis Susannah has been selling exceptional jewels from her shop in Burlington Arcade for more than 20 years. An expert in gemmology, diamond grading and also jewellery design, she is an authority in the field of fine jewellery and her shop is well known for its beautiful treasures and unparalleled customer service. Joanna Hardy Joanna is an expert in vintage jewellery with more than 30 years of experience. She trained as a goldsmith and then graded diamonds, before heading up the jewellery department of Sotheby’s. She now runs her jewellery school, gives masterclasses and lectures, appears on the BBC’s Antiques Roadshow and has published three books.…

With his latest catalogue, the clock dealer Howard Walwyn is giving himself a well-deserved pat on the back for completing 25 years on Kensington Church Street, W8, six at the present gallery, No 123. The 38 examples on offer from the Golden Age of English clock-making include two longcases and a table clock by Thomas Tompion, a rare Charles II architectural walnut longcase from the first 15 years of the English pendulum clock, by James Clowes of London (right), and a month-duration burr-walnut longcase by Daniel Quare, Tompion’s closest rival. There are also examples by Knibb, Delander, Ellicott and Vulliamy, together with less well known, but still masterly names. Among the latter is William Kipling, whose highly decorative green-and-gilt lacquer table clock dates from about 1745 (below). He is unlikely…

California: Living + Eating Eleanor Maidment (Hardie Grant, £22) Give this book a Michelin star. It’s accessible, innovative, inspiring and beautifully designed. Californian food is fusion enough to be interesting without demanding too many strange ingredients. Eleanor Maidment, a British writer offering the likes of cioppino, fresh coconut salad and sourdough, says that, unlike most cuisines, which are rooted in history, California’s is of the future. Nassima Rothacker’s photographs catch the state’s relaxed atmosphere. Definitely one for the bookshelf. Sardine Alex Jackson (Pavilion, £25) The title is nothing to do with little tinned fish, but the name of the author’s Provençal restaurant in London. Southern French cookery is much less arduous than the old grand cuisine: suggested menus include, for winter, new season’s olive oil used in soup, in…

Careless fishermen Shockingly, it’s discarded and dumped nets, lines and traps that make up the bulk of plastic pollution in the seas—the equivalent of 55,000 double-decker buses—according to a Greenpeace report Oxbridge competition The number of applicants to Oxford and Cambridge has increased, with 43,505 students competing for some 6,000 places across the two premier universities Getting stung An enormous Asian hornet nest with at least 200 queens has been discovered on Sark; the insects can eat 50 bees a day, so urgent steps are being taken to prevent their spread to the UK mainland Missing sea eagles RSPB Scotland is seeking information about two satellite-tagged raptors that have gone off the radar, one near Aberdeen, the other near Inverness; unsurprisingly, the blame is being pointed at grouse moors…

PAINSTAKING conservation work has removed years of grime from a painting that was once the star of the National Museum of Wales’s collection and sheds new light over its attribution. The Virgin and Child with Pomegranate was bequeathed to the Cardiff museum by sisters Gwendoline and Margaret Davies, two of the Principality’s leading art collectors, in the 1950s. Then, it was thought to be the work of Sandro Botticelli, but it was later reclassified as being by a follower of the Italian Master and it languished in the museum’s storerooms for decades. Rediscovered by Bendor Grosvenor, presenter of BBC4’s Britain’s Lost Masterpieces, the Virgin and Child underwent extensive restoration, which revealed that it had been significantly overpainted. ‘It was treated by a dealer in the 1940s, I think, and he…

THE past few days have witnessed an unusually busy sequence of lunches, dinners and receptions. It’s a mystery to me why this Christmas-like intensity of events has occurred at the start of November, but I’m not complaining. It’s been hugely enjoyable and has introduced me to several buildings; a reminder of the extraordinary architectural riches that can lurk unsuspected even in quite familiar London streets. This social bout, however, has not pleased the children. They have enjoyed one outing with their parents and were—I think—gratified that some of their escapades were already known to one or two strangers through Town Mouse. Otherwise, they have complained of every evening absence and made their displeasure known through comments on whatever I was wearing. Merely appearing in a suit provoked such muttered asides…

Glow-worms • The term ‘glow-worm’ is actually a misnomer —they are beetles and fungus gnats, as opposed to worms. • Lampyris noctiluca is the common glowworm of Europe. The females are flightless, so use their luminescence to attract a mate. • There are many genera of glow-worm, including the Arachnocampa, which is endemic to Australia and New Zealand. Quite remarkably, the larva spins threads of silk on cave ceilings, which they suspend ominously as a means of entrapping their prey. • The proteins that cause glow-worms to light up can be used to monitor the blood-sugar levels of people with diabetes. These proteins have also been used in developing drugs for cancer treatment. • The common colours produced by glow-worms are green, orange and red—red light is produced only by…

• Aardvark Books and Cafe, Manor Farm, Brampton Bryan, Herefordshire (01547 530744; www.aardvark-books.com) Full of surprises—aim to spend all day there • Booka Bookshop, Oswestry, Shropshire (www.bookabookshop.co.uk;01691 662244) Always busy, with an excellent ordering service • Book-ish, Crickhowell, Powys (01873 811256; www.book-ish.co.uk) A wonderful, cosy shop with much of Welsh interest, plus unmissable cakes • Daunt Books, Marylebone High Street, London W1 (020–7224 2295; www.dauntbooks.co.uk) Massive stock and an attractive Edwardian ambience • Edinburgh Bookshop, Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgh (0131–447 1917; www.edinburghbook shop.com) Books and ‘literary speed-dating’ • Lindum Books, Lincoln, Lincolnshire (01522 262374) Small yet vibrant, with lots of literary speakers…

Why is gold so popular? For UK investors, gold has been the best-performing asset class in the 21st century, gaining 568%*. Gold is an excellent tool for diversification, helping to offset the equity, interest-rate and real-estate risk of a well-balanced portfolio. It’s also a tangible asset—you can hold it in your hand and there are no counter-party risks, derivatives or digital clouds. Is gold tax efficient? All investment-grade gold bars and coins are exempt from VAT. British investors benefit from gold coins, such as Britannias and Sovereigns, which feature The Queen’s head on one side. As such, they are considered legal tender and thus Capital Gains Tax exempt. Sharps Pixley only offers clients investment-grade gold from leading LBMA (London Bullion Market Association) accredited ‘good delivery’ refineries. Is it kept securely?…

IN Westminster, 4, Carlton Gardens—a short walk up the Mall from Buckingham Palace—is one of those rare historic buildings in London: a double Blue Plaquer. Home to Lord Palmerston in the 1840s (before he became Prime Minister), it also sheltered Charles de Gaulle and his government in exile during the Second World War. William Gladstone was also briefly a resident, but, somehow, doesn’t merit the distinctive English Heritage plaque. It’s quite a trio. During the day, with vans making their deliveries and office workers on mobile phones, it can be hard to feel the historic atmosphere in this little corner of the city—but wait until dusk. Then, you can be transported back in time, thanks to the wonder of Carlton Gardens’ gas lamps. If you look carefully at the lamp…

Pinus strobus Green Twist A compact form of this popular species, noted for its twisted, curly green needles Pinus wallichiana Vicky This came from Wakehurst Place as a witches’ broom and is named after Vicky Tate. The needles are lime-green with hints of gold, and come in pendulous whorls like the mane of a shaggy Shetland pony Taxodium distichum Pévé Minarette A most unusual swamp cypress, happy in most soils: slow-growing, compact and upright, with fluffy, fern-like foliage Podocarpus salignus, AGM Elegant, drooping branchlets, thickly clothed with very dark, glossy willow-like leaves. Native to Chile, it is the perfect evergreen tree Picea omorika Pendula Bruns Wacky, narrow, pendulous form of the Serbian spruce (a handsome species), whizzing skywards like a demented corkscrew Pinus nigra Komet A columnar form of…

UNTIL Aphra came, I thought dogs slept on the sofa and opened an eye when you came in or went out. I believed that they stood patiently by the back door, hoping for a walk, ate everything in their bowl and rarely spoke. That’s because, until Aphra came, we only had lurchers. Aphra, named after the 17th-century spy and playwright Aphra Benn, is a miniature poodle. She has a trick of running up behind you when you’re filling the kettle in the morning and jumping up to deliver a deft and painless blow to the back of the legs. Your knees buckle and hit the doors of the under sink cupboard. ‘What,’ she says 100 times a day, ‘is going on? What’s up? Wassup? Wassupwassupwassupwassup?’ If it isn’t questions, it’s…